Family
by Samskid
Summary: Just what makes up a family? Matt soon finds that bonds of his family's love goes deeper than he thought possible. Finally this is done! Finished! I guess you could say "That's all Folks"
1. Chapter 1

Family

Family

**By: SamsKid**

**UPDATE: MAJOR REWRIGHT!!!!**

Hi, if there is anyone still out there checking on this story I apologize for taking so long to come back to it. I have a list of excuses. My dad had a stroke and then quadruple bypass surgery, my computer crashed and then there was Katrina…but that's another story in itself.

Anyway, I have a new computer and the other day, by accident I found the complete series on DVD. So after a week of immersing myself into that world I felt the need to refit my story. The basic story is the same, but I've removed some parts and added others hoping to make it more true to cannon and maybe a little more coherent.

The standard disclaimers apply to all chapters; I don't own the series or any of the characters. This was written only for fun and practice.

Hope you enjoy. I would love a review but please let your criticisms be constructive. Thanks

**Chapter 1**

Matt groaned as he surfaced to consciousness, only to wish that he hadn't. O God, did he hurt! Every part of his body hurt. He felt as if every nerve was on fire.

He took a deep breath only to feel that same fire burning deep in his chest. "No, this was not a good thing to do," he told himself, "don't do that again." He admonished. He lay still trying to get his bearings, trying to remember why he was here, and just where here was. The more he tried to remember the more his head throbbed, the pressure and haze building as the minutes passed. He couldn't think, and the whole world was spinning dizzily making him nauseous.

He could feel his extremities, but he couldn't make them move. He didn't know if he could open his eyes or not, right now he really didn't want to. All he seemed to be able to do was breath, and that was agony in itself. He tried to calm down, but he could still feel the blood racing in his ears.

Someone was trying to force water down his throat. He gagged, sputtered and choked but was able to get some of it down.

He tried to talk but his tongue was too thick. He desperately wanted to ask that someone where he was and why was he here.

He felt a prick in the inside of his forearm and the world started to dim again. He fought it hard but the blackness was too deep, it was like swimming in mud, thick mud.

Fiercely he held to the thought that come hell or high water, George would find him…wherever he was. And then there was the vision of Cathy's smile, the one that never failed to give him hope. He clung to that vision as he plunged head first into the blackness.

* * *

George sat at his desk drumming his fingers in an absentminded rhythm, not even realizing that he was doing so. He had done everything he had known to do, but every lead had turned up false. No one anywhere had seen a sign of Matt since he had left the station heading for home over nine days ago.

George wearily buried his face in his hands. "Matthew, my friend where are you?!" He heaved a sigh, tinged with exhaustion, and raised his head. He stood stiffly and walked over to the window, trying to work some of the kinks out of his muscles.

Beatrice Zepada entered the office quietly, and just stood watching George at the window. Finally, thou she was loath to be the bearer of bad news yet again she spoke "I'm sorry George, we didn't find anything. I've combed through that warehouse for the last six hours and there was no sign that Matt had ever been there. Just another wild goose chase."

He only nodded never turning from the window.

"You know George…"

"Don't say it!" he grit out between clinched teeth.

"Damn it George, he's my friend too ya know, it's just…"

He could hear the tears in her voice but couldn't bring himself to turn around, to offer comfort when he couldn't find any for himself.

"You're right I'm sorry I know we can't give up. I think it's just that we're all so tired. Look at yourself George, you're dead on your feet. When was the last time you slept in a bed?" there was no answer but she knew there wouldn't be "You need to try to get some sleep." She raised her hand as if to give his shoulder a squeeze but let it fall not knowing if the touch would be welcome. He looked so closed in on himself.

He cleared his throat "Beatrice I know that you love him as well. And I know that you've done everything possible to find him." He swallowed his own tears. "And I know how tired you must be, so please go home and get some rest."

"What about you?" this time she followed through with her impulse and lay her hand on his shoulder giving that gentle squeeze.

"I can't. When I close my eyes I'm haunted by the thought of what must be happening to…" he swallowed again "I know in my hearts that he is still alive. Don't ask me how, I just do. I would know if he were dead. I would know."

"Yes George I believe you." She sighed wearily "At least get something to eat." She squeezed again and turned to go.

"Beatrice." He called her back.

"Yes George?"

"Thank you."

"Yeah sure he's family right? Hey get some rest you hear me?"

He merely nodded again.

"Okay, well…I'm gone." and she left quietly closing the door behind her.

He leaned his forehead against the window wondering how much longer he could stand this. Matthew was his dear friend, his partner, his brother.

There was a light tap at the door and he turned to see the new commissioner just entering his office. "Sir!" he tried to smooth the wrinkles from his cloths and gestured toward a chair by his desk "Please come in, have a seat."

"Oh no captain, I just wanted to stop by and see how the investigation was going." Grazer seemed genuinely concerned.

George tried not to sound defeated but "Not very well I'm afraid" came out rather shakily.

Grazer took in the haggard appearance of the city's first New Comer police captain. "You okay George?"

"Yes sir, I'm just tired like everyone else. I would like to thank you for the extra man power on this case, I know that you and Matthew haven't always see eye to eye."

Grazer snorted "Yeah, Sikes is a real pain in the ass, but George, he's our pain in the ass. And nobody hurts one of our own. We are going to find him if it takes every cop in the city."

"Hey look George, you've been here all night, go home before you fall down."

"Oh, I'm alright sir. It's still early and there's too much work to do." George was making excuses.

"It'll still be here tomorrow. I'll fill in for you this afternoon." He said while removing a cigar from the inner pocket of his jacket.

"Sir? But your own job…" George stammered.

Grazier smirked "I called in sick, besides my secretary won't let me light up in the office." He lit the end of his cigar and took a long pull. "Ahhh, now that's better." He opened his eyes and motioned toward the door. "I thought I gave you an order Francisco, now get out of here."

George was surprised to say the least, not just at the offer but at the deep compassion evident in the other man's eyes. "Yes sir, okay if you say so…"

"I do say so, now go."

Not able to come up with an argument, he grabbed his keys and headed for the door but he had no intention of going home.

* * *

Matt woke up remembering next to nothing, it was like waking from a nightmare. The days before were only hazy recollections of pain and fear. For the first time since he had been captured he felt his mind clearing, it didn't hurt quite so bad to think.

He turned his head hoping to get a look at his surroundings only to have spears of pain shoot through his neck and up into his brain. He clamped his eyes shut and waited for the pounding to ease. Well at least his neck worked so he thought he would try out other parts of his body. He found that he could move his arms slightly but only as far as the bindings at his wrists would allow. 'Okay let's try a leg' he thought to himself, only to find that his ankles were also bound to the foot rail of the bed.

Okay, now that he had taken physical inventory of body parts and finding all parts still attached and accounted for he decided to try to get some idea about where he was being held.

There were silk sheets on the bed and rich velvet drapes on windows that spanned almost three quarters of one wall. The wall facing the foot of the bed held an ornate fireplace flanked by two antique wingback chairs and there was an antique armoire, a real giant, gaudy piece of furniture set against the wall facing the windows.

"Well enough of the grand tour." He said under his breath "Get the Hell outa here Matt!"

He wriggled his wrist and although he was unable to get loose, he did find out that his wrists were connected by a single cord wound around and behind the spokes of the big brass head rail. He was able to get his hand up to one of the spokes and feeling with his fingers he found the sharp end of a bolt used to repair the old bed.

Stretching as best he could, he was able to get the inside of his wrist up against the bolt and began to rub the cord back and forth. It was tiring work and it took him almost an hour but finally he felt it give and his hand fall free. He was surprised by the shock of pain that coursed through his shoulders and down his back when he tried to bring his arms down to his sides. He rubbed at his arms noticing the injection marks. This is just Great! He shook his head wondering how long he had been held captive here, and a hazy memory tried to come to the front, but was quickly pushed back. Now was not the time.

He lay panting for some minutes before he was able to try sitting up. It took him several tries but finally there he was, in an upright position. The room began to spin wildly and he had to shut his eyes to calm the nausea he could feel rising up from his stomach.

"Damn! At this rate it's gonna take me all day to get out of here!" he fumed. Feeling a bit steadier, he began to pick at he knots of the cord binding his ankles to the foot rail of the bed. When finally free he lay back exhausted his joints screaming.

He caught his breath and worked his way to the edge of the bed letting his feet touch the rich deep pile of thick carpet. He sat there for a few moments not yet ready to try standing. From this vantage he began to scan the room hoping for any sign of his clothing. He was determined to get out of here while he could, even if he had to wrap himself in a bed sheet.

As had become his habit, George found himself driving around peering into alleyways and studying people on the sidewalks. He had no clear destination in mind and although these streets had been checked and rechecked he found himself here again.

Memories washed over him thick and unyielding. Suddenly he was back on his first day with a new partner. The differences were too many to count. Sikes had immediately disliked George, but when Emily had been threatened at her school, it was Matt who had come to her rescue. He had shamed the mob until only a few die hard fanatics were still shouting. He had then stooped down till he was at eye level with Emily. He had smiled and winked at her, forever winning her heart, along with Susan's and yes, his own as well.

George smiled at the memory of Vessna's birth, the look of outright panic on Matthew's face when he realized that it was up to him to deliver her. That panic quickly turned to an almost overwhelming fear when the baby hadn't turned. Matthew had saved both Vessna and George that night and had then fallen head over heals in love with the little wriggling bundle.

The smiled faded with the memory of Matthew's limp body lying on the cold concrete walkway behind the convenience store. He had died that day. His heart had simply stopped and in turn George felt his own break into a million pieces. A jolt of adrenalin had jumpstarted Matthew's heart back into action and George had his partner back.

Would he be so lucky again?

George had seen so many of his people die. People no more than mere skeletons working in mines on starvation rations working until they fell only to be stepped over and left to rot. Others on harsh worlds that were a hell compared to the mines or the slave ships he and his own family had been enslaved to. He had held friends in his arms as they slipped into the next life but all that had ended when the ship crashed on this little blue world.

For the first time in generations his people had a chance to live with hope because of people like Matthew Sikes, and now... "No!" George shouted into the emptiness of his car. "I will not give up! You are alive! I know you are alive Matthew! I would know if you were … I would know…" George would not let the despair take hold "…I just have to find you. I will not give up!" he shouted to no one in particular. He looked down and noticed his hands clinching the stirring wheel. He willed himself to relax and in a softer tone he promised his absent friend, "We will find you Matthew, I will not rest until I find you." He refused to believe otherwise.

Matt had found some clothing in the old armoire. They were cut for a shorter stockier man but at least he was covered. Now all he had to do was to get out and then get home. He stopped for a moment in confusion. Just where was home? He mentally shook himself and decided that getting out was more important right now, he would figure everything else out afterward.

When he had been able to walk without the room spinning, he had made his way to the large windows. Looking out on the city from a dizzying height he realized he was in a penthouse apartment, an apartment that seemed to be empty for the time being. He didn't know why his captor hadn't left him guarded, but he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

He made his way from the windows to the door of the bedroom, and quietly opened the door very slowly just in case there might be someone on the other side after all. He couldn't see anyone, so far so good.

He slowly made his way down a dark hallway to a huge living room area with a vaulted ceiling, and one whole wall made of glass looking out over the city. He had no idea who had been holding him here but the guy had to be filthy rich to afford a place like this.

He quickly crouched down behind a couch when he heard sounds coming from what he guessed to be the kitchen. The sounds became familiar someone was humming sometimes giving voice to the words and then lapsing back into only humming the tune.

Matt figured that this was probably only a cook or a cleaning lady. He quietly stood to his feet and made his way to what he hoped was the door to the outside hall. What he found was an alcove with an elevator on the opposite wall. He took a deep breath and pushed the down button waiting for the machine to make its way up to him and praying that it would be empty when it arrived.

The doors smoothly slid open to reveal an empty Oak paneled box. Matt hurried in and pushed the button for the lobby. When the doors opened he held his breath, but again there was no one in the vicinity of his elevator. He straitened himself and headed for the richly decorated glass doors leading to the outside. He noticed the funny looks from the door man, and knew he must look pretty suspicious with the ill fitting cloths and scruffy hair, but he didn't give the guy a chance to stop him, he had to get home.

He was brought up short by that thought again. The combination of sedating drugs and the fact that he couldn't remember the last time he'd had anything to eat had his mind muzzy. No matter how hard he tried to remember, home seemed elusive. He took a deep breath and suddenly George came to mind. All he had to do was find George. George would take him home.

Matt knew the definition of withdrawal, but did not recognize that he was in its throes. Too long had his captor used sedatives and other drugs to keep him week and subdued. He felt sick and overly frightened. He could see monsters hiding. He needed to rest. He needed to get his bearings.

Finding an alley he ducked in making his way to about mid point, and not being able to hold back any longer, he retched leaning on the cool bricks of a wall for support. He decided to hide in amongst some cardboard boxes and empty crates tossed over by the dumpster. He was so very tired, and weak as a kitten. Fever had him shaking and miserable so it was a relief when sleep finally claimed him.

Several hours later he woke to find someone removing his shoes. He fought to keep them only to get the wind knocked out of him and then to find himself lying in a heap. The man taunted him and others came. Matt couldn't think strait. Visions and memories swam in his mind terrifying him. These attackers in the alley mocked him and laughed thinking him to be an addict or a drunkard. One of them began to hit him and as is the way with a mob even a small mob, they became of one mind. They beat him and kicked him until he no longer moved. He looked dead and fearing that they had gone too far, they had run away still carrying his shoes. He curled in onto himself rolling into a ball of misery, and from somewhere deep within he called out for George before falling into unconsciousness.

Later that afternoon he struggled back to the world of the living, he was alone, in pain and now barefoot. He struggled to his feet holding his ribs. He felt a sharp pain stab through his back and middle. His gut was starting to cramp and he felt the need to piss, so he hid behind the dumpster and relieved himself. He grimaced as his urine burned and wasn't really surprised to find it dark and bloody. Again he thought of George and he knew that George would take care of him. George meant safety. Somehow he had to find George.

He finished his business and started to limp toward the end of the alley back toward the sidewalk. He heard something coming from behind and fearing his attackers were coming back he began to run still holding his middle.

Fear is a powerful motivator and the adrenaline pumping in his system pushed him out of the alley into the bright afternoon sun and then into the street, where he found himself bouncing off the hood of a car, and then nothing at all as the familiar blackness took him again.

* * *

Buck loved being a cop, he thanked Celine he had wised up and chosen this path for his life. He felt this to be his calling, and was glad that he had listened to his hearts.

Buck's partner Jason R. Gonot, was also Tenctonese and a couple of years older. There were quite a few differences but, in the end they seemed to get along. Their differences seemed to balance the partnership instead of creating weaknesses, the bond between them grew stronger day by day. Buck had already learned a lot from his patient older partner and had grown to trust him, not only as a partner but as a friend as well.

Like George, the two had spent every waking moment in the search for Matt. Jason felt concern for Buck, and he wanted to help. He knew how close Buck's father and Matthew Sikes were. Anyone who knew them could see that the bond they shared was deeper than mere friendship. Like most longtime partners they were brothers, they would die for one another. He also knew that that bond had grown to include the whole Francisco family, with Sikes becoming a part of the close knit clan. So in Buck's mind and heart Sikes was family, even if he was human.

They were nearing the end of their shift and about to head back to the station when suddenly there was a screech of brakes, a loud crash and people screaming.

Jason quickly parked their unit as close to the disturbance as he could get. From their vantage point it seemed to be an ordinary fender bender with injuries. When they got closer they could see people kneeling beside someone lying in the middle of the street. Two human females were crying and a Tenctonese male in a business suit was trying his best to keep the accident victim still. "Now sir, please! You are hurt, you must lie still until help arrives."

"NO! I've got to get away, let me go!" the victim, a thin human male with dirty hair, long and stringy, was struggling weakly. "I need George, where is George?"

"Please sir, you have a head injury! You must lie still!"

Jason and Buck walked up on this scene and seeing the car's busted windshield and the injured man in the street had no trouble figuring out what had happened. Jason quickly knelt down next to the male holding the victim while Buck started to question the different people standing around, "What happened here."

"I don't know exactly, he just came out of nowhere. You could tell the guy driving tried to miss him but he just bounced off the front of his car"

Jason was trying to asses the man's injuries, he gently moved the long hair out of the man's eyes, and then looking closely he caught his breath as he saw a familiar face. "Buck! Come here!" he shouted.

"Okay, on my way!" he shouted back as he trotted over to his partner.

Jason looked up with wide eyes full of anxiety, "Buck, It's Matt."

"What?!" Buck fell to his knees beside the now unconscious man. Jason was right.

"How bad is it?" he asked his partner fearfully.

"Don't know yet, there are some internal injuries I'm sure, along with a pretty serious head injury, and his leg is broken below the knee, but other than that, I just don't know. There's something else."

"What?" Buck was almost afraid to ask.

Jason then showed him the ligature marks he had found around the man's wrists and moving a pant leg up he pointed out the same marks on the ankles above his bare feet. Opening the ill fitting and much too large shirt, they saw that Matt's thin torso was covered with bruises from blue black and deep purple. Some of them might have been caused by the impact but it was clear that most of the wounds were several hours old.

Buck held Matt's head steady while they waited for the ambulance. His mind was busy trying to make sense out of all this.

Jason watched his partner as he carefully held the human's head, gently caressing a temple with his knuckles. He watched as tear filled eyes slowly took in every bruise, cut, scrape and the ligature mark on an exposed wrist.

"Buck, are you okay?"

"Yeah, umm…I just…umm…I don't…" more and more upset, Buck lapsed into Tenctonese, **"**_**HOW COULD ANYONE DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS**_**?"**

"I don't know Buck, but you have to stay calm. Panicking now won't help Matt, he needs you to keep your head." His voice was calm and strong, almost like an anchor for the younger cop to grab hold of. "We have him now_, _and you are here with him now, be strong for him, okay?"

Buck pulled his ragged thoughts back together and nodded. He looked down into the face of his friend just as Matt opened his eyes, the long lashes fluttering on the pale thin cheeks. His eyes opened wide and Buck was taken aback by the stark terror evident in those dark eyes. Matt began to fight weakly at the two officers. "No don't touch me, please don't touch me." he whimpered.

Afraid that he would hurt himself, Buck started talking in a low soothing voice, "Hey, Matt it's me, calm down, its Buck. Can you hear me? Calm down, come back."

Matt's eyes grew wider, much too big in his shrunken face and began to move frantically as if searching for an escape. "Let me go! I have to find George, please let me go, I need to find him."

"It's okay, Matt, listen to me, it's Buck. Can you hear me?" Buck gently patted the man on the cheek, "I'm not George, but I'll get him for you, you just have to stay with me here, okay? Come on stay with me Matt, look at me!"

The eyes stopped their frantic movements, and bore into Buck's. "Bbuckkk…?" the raspy almost unrecognizable voice stuttered. By this time Matt had begun to tremble violently.

"Yes, it's me," Buck's shoulders slumped in relief, "you're okay now. You're safe."

A shaky blood smeared hand came up to touch Buck's face, his fingers leaving bloody smears across the smooth cheek. "Safe?" Matt's brown eyes never left Buck's face.

"Yes, Matt you're safe now. I won't let anyone hurt you." He took the hand in his own holding it tightly.

"I want to go home." he said in a small voice almost childlike. "Do you know where home is?" he looked hopefully into Buck's eyes, his confusion was heartbreaking.

Suddenly his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he began to seize. All they knew to do next was to pin the man's flailing limbs to the pavement, hoping to keep him from injuring himself anymore than he already was.

Finally, after what seemed like a small eternity to Buck, the seizure ended. Jason was watching the injured man closely. "Buck we need to get him on his side, I think he's going to hurl!" Sure enough, Matt began to gag, bringing up blood.

"This is not good," Jason muttered under his breath.

He stood and placed a hand on Buck's shoulder, "See if you can keep him quiet, I'll get a blanket from the cruiser. Will you be alright?" Buck only nodded, looking up at his partner with round fear filled eyes. Jason squeezed the shoulder, "I'll only be a minute." Buck nodded again, never letting go of Matt's hand.

Buck noticed that Matt was watching him again, unblinking eyes never leaving the young officers face. Those eyes bore into him with an intensity Buck had never seen before. It was like Matt was holding on to him with his eyes. Buck pulled the broken man into his arms and held him to his chest. "It's going to be okay, Matt. You're safe now." he said as he held the trembling form even tighter, cradling Matt's head against his shoulder. "You're safe, and I won't let anyone hurt you again, I promise." all fear of possible injury to Matt's neck forgotten in his need to comfort his friend.

Retrieving the blanket from the car Jason made his way back to his waiting partner and injured friend, in the distance he could hear the high piercing whale of the coming ambulance and released his breath in a sigh of relief.

* * *

George had been driving around aimlessly for the last two hours. His cell phone rang, and he pulled his car over to park in a restaurant parking lot.

He took his phone from his inside jacket pocket and looked at the caller ID. It was Buck. George started not to answer, he really wasn't in the mood for another 'go home and get some rest speech', but changed his mind.

There was no greeting, there was only **"**_**Where are you?**_**" **Buck once again had lapsed into Tenctonese.

"I'm in a parking lot why?" George asked confused.

There was a pause, and then **"**_**Dad, we found Matt**_**."** his voice was choked.

George was stunned. He felt his head spin and realized that he had stopped breathing. He mentally shook himself, "how bad is it?"

"He's alive but Dad, you really need to hurry." George could hear the strain in his son's voice although he answered this time in English.

"Yes, of course, but where are you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Dad. Ahh…we're on our way to County."

"I'm on my way."

George could still hear the fear in Buck's voice as he turned on the siren and attached the flashing light to the top of his car. He quickly pulled into traffic and made his way to the hospital. He had to get there fast. He quietly prayed to any deity that would listen that he wouldn't be too late.

George had called Susan from his car on the way to the hospital. She grabbed her purse and fairly flew over to Matt and Cathy's apartment.

She nervously knocked on the door hoping that she might catch Cathy at home. She probably should have called but George had been worried. He felt that Cathy should not be alone. Susan knew he was right she could only imagine how she would feel in the same situation.

Cathy had slept very little in the last several weeks. She had waited by the phone until the emptiness of the apartment threatened to drive her insane. She found herself driving around aimlessly in a vain attempt at finding Matt herself. Finally in a state of total exhaustion, she had made it back to the apartment. Not bothering to change out of her clothes, she collapsed on the bed and was asleep before her head had touched the pillow.

The insistent knocking had eventually broken through to her consciousness and she forced herself to wake up. "I'm coming," she called from her bedroom, trying to smooth the wrinkles from her clothing.

When she opened the door, the look on her friend's face told her that she had news, and suddenly she felt very afraid. "Susan what..."

Susan took her cold hands in her own, and tried to sound reassuring as she spoke, "He's not dead, but George said that we need to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Come on, I'll drive."

Cathy grabbed the purse that had been dropped by the door earlier, and ran down the stairs after Susan and out to her car.

Susan was driving wildly with hazard lights flashing, and horn honking. The whole thing seemed surreal every light turned green before they got to it, and it seemed that every slow moving vehicle had moved out of the way or turned off. It almost seemed like some unseen hand was making their way clear.

Finally they were at the hospital, Cathy jumping out of the car before Susan could come to a complete stop. She clutched her purse tightly to her chest, and ran for the ER. George was just inside the door waiting for her. "Oh, George where is he? Is he alright?"

George took her by the arm and led her to the family waiting area, where they sat down "I haven't seen him yet. I just got here myself. Buck and his partner, Jason, found him. He was the victim of a traffic accident, but he had other injuries as well. Buck said that he was conscious up until the paramedics got there."

"Oh, George, I've got to see him!"

"I know how you feel…good luck. I ah…need to talk to Buck, I think he went to the men's room to clean himself up." George gave Cathy's shoulder a reassuring squeeze and walked in the direction of the Men's room.

Susan took Cathy's hands in her own, "Are you sure you're up to this? Do you think they will let you?"

Cathy looked into her friend's eyes, "I have to see him, to know that he's still alive. It's something I've got to do. I've done a few research studies here and I know most of the ER staff. I don't believe they will keep me out."

"Alright, I'll wait for you here," Susan smiled encouragingly.

Cathy took a deep breath and straitening her shoulders she turned and headed for the examination rooms.

When George walked into the men's room, he could hear the sounds of someone retching into one of the toilets. He found Jason leaning against the wall facing the stalls. Jason merely pointed toward the first stall and gave George a sympathetic smile.

"Thank you Jason," he told his son's partner. "Thank you for being there for him, but I think I've got it from here."

"Whatever you say sir," Jason nodded but before leaving for the waiting room, he took George in a quick embrace, "He's a stubborn man and he's got a good chance, don't lose hope."

George almost lost his composure. He returned the embrace slapping Jason on the back, "Thank you Jason, I'll try my best."

He then leaned on the wall where Jason had stood only moments before and waited for his son.

Buck had never felt so sick, he had retched until nothing was left in his stomach and he was reduced to dry heaves. He was cold, clammy, and trembling. On shaking legs he stood and flushed the toilet. He wiped his mouth on a piece of toilet tissue and then flushed it down as well. That's when he heard a knock on the stall door.

"Buck?" unmistakably his father's voice.

"I'm fine, ah…really I'm okay." He was almost afraid to open the door, afraid to look his father in the face. He had battled his emotions since finding Matt, and feared that just looking at his father's face would make him break down completely.

"Come on out, Son."

The door opened slowly, and immediately Buck was enveloped in the arms of his father. He was right, he lost it completely.

George just stood holding his son tightly in his arms letting him sob into his shoulder. He felt Bucks arms slide inside his open jacket and around his waist. _**"Let it go Son, let it all out."**_ He crooned to Buck in Tenctonese.

"Dad, you don't understand, that is not just another vic. This is someone I know, someone I love, If he dies…Oh Dad, he looked so horrible. And what they must have done to him! I can still see his face, his eyes! He was so afraid. He was almost like a little kid ya know?" He sobbed again, a fresh wave breaking on his father's shoulder. George merely held him tighter, gently swaying from side to side letting him cry it out. After he had quieted down a little he told his father, "He was looking for you, Dad. He wasn't very coherent, but he said he had to find you, that was all he cared about at the time. He couldn't tell us anything, he just kept asking for you."

George felt his chest tighten. 'He was looking to me for help and I could do nothing.' His thoughts were accusing.

Buck was still very ragged emotionally. "I just guess that I thought that Matt would always be here. I didn't realize that he's become one of the anchors of my life you know? Right now, I can't remember a time he wasn't around somewhere, even when I didn't want him to be. Then he was gone and…" he struggled in English. He took a deep breath and continued in his birth tongue_**, "I'm not ready to say goodbye to him. There are too many things I need to say." **_He paused trying to get control of himself before continuing, _**"Too many things I need to unsay."**_

George continued to hold Buck in his arms, "Well, Son, Matt is strong and you know how stubborn he can be, I don't see him giving up without a fight. Do you? Don't give up on him now, Son. Not yet."

Suddenly Buck pushed himself away, apologizing in English "I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me, standing here crying like an infant." He said, savagely wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand.

George lifted his son's chin to look into his eyes, "Listen to me Son, never apologize for feeling. When you stop feeling you become less a person. Without feeling you are only an automation, a robot. Feeling things only means that you are alive."

Buck then noticed the unshed tears in his father's eyes. "Are you okay Dad?"

George laughed, "Yes son, for now."

George took a long look at his son and pushed him against the wall. "Stay here for a minute." Not wanting for Buck to get a look at himself in the mirror, he then walked over to the sinks. He turned on the tap in the first sink he came to and held his handkerchief under the water. He came back to Buck and began to clean the smears of dried blood from his face. "There now, you look quite handsome again."

Buck held his father's eyes, passing him a look of gratitude, and in his imagination he could almost feel Matt's fingers as they had touched his face to see if he was real or only an illusion. He couldn't help himself as he shuddered slightly.

"Will you do me a favor?"

"Sure, Dad, whatever you want." Buck said with a frown, for the first time noticing the dark stains on his uniform shirt.

"After you've gone home to get a clean shirt," he smiled at his son's sheepish look, "would you please call Emily at Princeton, and let her know what's happening, and then stop by Vessna's school and bring her here. I can't leave. Not until I know something. Oh, and I guess we should try to find Kirby somehow. I don't even know where to begin."

"Don't worry Dad, I'll take care of everything. It will give me something to do, I hate just waiting." Buck said with a wobbly smile.

George took his son's face in both hands and then placing his knuckles to Buck's temples he said. "Oh, Son I love you so much. Don't you ever forget that, alright?"

Worried for his father, Buck returned the caress, "I love you too, and always will. Don't _you_ ever forget that, okay? Listen, Dad, you're right. Matt's never run from a fight yet. He's going to make it, he has to."

Dr. Thomas Fredricks was quickly assessing the condition of his patient. The man was a mess, even after most of the blood had been cleaned away the doctor could see numerous lacerations and contusions, and probably a few broken ribs. There didn't seem to be any damage done to his neck or spine, but he did have a rather serious head wound.

Turning him on his side the doctor noted the heavy bruising to his back. The bruising around the kidneys had him worried. "Let's get a Foley. And after a quick examination of his anal area he added "and go ahead and bring me a rape kit" he said with a shake of his head.

When finished, they turned him to lay on his back once again. And working his way down Matt's body he continued, "His belly's extended, that doesn't look good. The EMTs said that he had been throwing up blood." He looked up in time to see Cathy dressed in scrubs, coming to the door. Suddenly a light went off in his head and his eyes grew wide, "Oh, no!" and he quickly looked into his patient's face starring hard. "I couldn't see it before, but it's him alright."

"What are you talking about?" the nurse asked.

"Read the name on the chart!" he cut his eyes sharply over to her.

"Matthew Sikes. Hey! This is Matt?!" her own eyes wide and incredulous. "Is he undercover or something? Poor guy, I guess somebody blew his cover. Does Cathy know?"

"Here she comes now, have we got a surgeon coming?"

"Yeah, Hastings is on his way down, should be here any minute."

"Good, the sooner the better." He watched Cathy enter the trauma room. "Cathy, you really shouldn't be here."

"I know Tommy, but I have to be here. What is his condition?"

"Look, Hastings is on his way down here now to take him to surgery. All I know for sure is that he's bleeding internally. You'll have to talk to Hastings after surgery, okay?"

She swallowed hard and held back the tears that threatened. "I understand."

"Hey, let us get him up to surgery and I'll come out to talk to you, I promise I'll tell you whatever you want to know, but you really need to leave." The eyes over his mask were sympathetic but adamant.

"Ok, but please let me see him first. I promise I'll go wait for you outside, just let me see him."

He nodded and motioned for her to come, "Okay, but make it quick."

Walking to the examination table, she was not prepared for what she saw. She wanted to turn and run.

He fluttered his eyes open as she cautiously came near. He had been intubated and couldn't speak, but his eyes spoke volumes. Cathy saw raw fear etched into the depths of those soft brown eyes and they seemed to cling to her soul. She felt the room spin momentarily and reminded herself to breathe.

"Now you listen to me Matthew Sikes, you're going to be okay! Do you hear me!? They are going to take you to surgery to repair your injuries." She softened, lightly passing her fingers over the longer strands of his dirty hair. Squeezing her eyes shut to stop the tears that threatened, she continued. "I know you are so very tired my love, but you have to fight a little longer, please Matt…please don't leave me, not now." She took his hand and lifted it to her lips, kissing it through the mask she wore. She then rubbed the back of that hand across her cheek and on up to her temple, "I need you in my life. I haven't needed anyone but myself for such a long time, but I need you, maybe more than I even knew myself."

Hastings barged through the door, at that time, "Okay people what have we got here?"

Fredricks called to Cathy, "I'm sorry, but we need to get him upstairs now. Someone will keep you updated."

They transferred Matt to a gurney, and wheeled him out of the room. She stayed with him as far as the elevator, then reluctantly she released his hand and the doors swooshed to a close.

Cathy stood there alone, wanting to get herself together before she joined the others. Not until now did she realize the depth of feeling she had for him. She had known that she loved him, but she hadn't realized how much until the thought of losing him hit her head on. Matt was her friend, and her lover, she felt that in some ways he brought out the best in her. For the first time in her life there was someone who supported her one hundred percent, never judging her actions or asking for anything in return. She didn't even think of him as human anymore. He was Matt, her Matt, the reason she had chosen to live again. Tears came to her eyes and she thought to herself, "If I lose him, I will lose myself. I will die too."

"Cathy, is everything alright?" George had walked up behind her lightly touching her on the arm.

She wanted to scream "No! Nothing is alright!" but she only nodded, and allowed George to lead her back to the waiting room.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

The standard disclaimers apply to all chapters; I don't own the series or any of the characters. This was written only for fun and practice.

**Chapter 2**

Dr. Thomas Fredricks was tall and thin with a shock of red hair that tended to stand up on the crown of his head making him look more like a kid than a man nearing 40.

He stood in the door of the ER waiting area looking for Cathy, weariness making his shoulders droop.

Cathy caught his eye and nudged George to follow her to the waiting doctor.

Fredricks smiled and held his hand out toward her. "Cathy I'm really sorry, I had no idea who he was when he came in, I didn't make the connection until I saw you at the door."

"That's ok, Tommy, it didn't change the way you took care of him did it?"

"No, of course not, but I might have been able to cushion the shock for you a little. The truth is, you just caught me off guard." He raked his fingers through his wild hair and looked to her again his eyes full of apology. He took Cathy's arm, "Let's step outside so we can talk" he asked her looking around the room filled with a mixture of New Comers and humans, some in uniform some in plain cloths.

"Oh, Tommy these people are his family." She nodded toward George and introduced him to the doctor, "This is Captain George Francisco, Matt's partner for years, and his wife Susan, and everyone else here works with Matt and George. They are the closest thing to family he has, other than his daughter, and we're still trying to find her.

He nodded a greeting to George and Susan and then pulled Cathy out into the hallway "Look there is a little conference room just down the hall, why don't you come down there with me and then you can pass on whatever information you think everyone needs to hear."

"Alright..." she had the sinking feeling that his news would not be easy to hear so motioning for her friends she fell into step behind the doctor.

They entered the room and sat down at a small round table. Susan sat next to Cathy, her arm around her friend's trembling shoulders.

Fredricks, who sat directly across from Cathy, looked exhausted. He had been on duty without a break for the last seventeen hours. He propped his elbows on the table and leaned in hunching his shoulders tiredly, "I wish there was an easier way to say all this, but I'll just cut to the chase. He's in bad shape Cathy. He's broken up pretty bad, and we won't know the full extent of his injuries until Hastings gets him on the table."

"Doctor, my son said that he had some sort of seizure, do you think it was due to his head injury? Buck said that he was rather incoherent. You don't think that there will be…" George could barely bring himself to continue "…do you think his brain has been damaged?"

"Captain Francisco, there are several different factors in play. Yes the head injury is a big one, as well as his dehydration and malnutrition. Add to that an assortment of sedatives and God knows what else was pumped into his veins. I'm still waiting on the tox screen."

"Drugs?" Cathy was horrified.

"Fraid so, there were track marks on the inside of both arms. If we didn't know who he was he might have been mistaken for just another junky. The blood tests will tell us what they used on him."

Cathy sat trying to make some sense out of this information, "Why…I don't understand. Why tie him up and keep him drugged?"

Fredricks reached for her hand and squeezed trying to give some small bit of comfort "I don't know why, I'm just an ER doc. Cathy, there's something else…"

Cathy sat waiting for him to continue, Fredricks sighed and squeezed her hand again "There's evidence of sexual assault. His anus was irritated and swollen and there was also inflammation and swelling of his genitals."

"You're saying that he was drugged and raped?" Cathy's voice was tight.

Fredricks let go of her hand and raked his fingers through his hair again, "Yeah."

George swallowed and asked, "Did you get a rape kit?" he couldn't believe he was asking this question in regard to his friend.

"Yes and it's on its way to the lab downtown."

"Matthew!" George could only whisper, his spots paled noticeably and deep inside George was falling apart. His friend had needed him, but George had failed him.

Fredricks stood, "I'm sorry, I have to go, I've got another couple of hours left on my shift and as you've seen it's a busy night."

Cathy and the others stood also "Thank you Tommy, I appreciate all you've done."

"It's my job" he shrugged "I just wish I could have given you better news. Like I said before, he has a better than good chance, hold on to that okay?" With a small nod and a squeeze to her shoulder he turned and exited the room, leaving the friends alone to gather strength before facing everyone in the waiting room.

With a hitch in her voice, Cathy asked, "What do I tell everyone? You know Matt, you know how private he is about…certain things." She lost control and began to sob into her hands. "This is worse than a nightmare!" she sobbed into Susan's shoulder, "Why him? Why Matt?"

George had never felt so useless, what could he say? All he could do was to wrap both women in his arms and hold on tight.

* * *

It seemed eerily quiet in the waiting room now that Buck was gone to the airport to pick up Emily and most everyone had gone home. Only those closest to the family were still there. Albert sat quietly talking with Vessna explaining the ritual symbols of his prayer cloth. Hobbs stood leaning against the wall watching George pace while Grazer sat slumped in the corner with his eyes closed.

Cathy and Susan sat huddled close to one another, Cathy drawing strength from her friend. She hadn't felt so afraid in a very long time. "This can't be happening" she said not realizing that she had spoken aloud until she felt Susan's hand on her arm. She looked up into her friend's face letting her emotions play across her own. "I keep thinking that soon I will wake up and this whole thing will be just some terrible dream, but try as I might, I can't make myself wake up."

"Cathy, he's going to come through this. You know he's like that cat food commercial."

Cathy had to laugh at that, "Are you referring to the fact that he seems to have nine lives?" Her voice became more serious as she spoke, "Oh, Susan. I don't think I can survive losing him." she broke down and Susan wrapped her arms tightly around her. She didn't know what to say, there was nothing she could say, so she just sat there and held her friend trying to give what comfort she could. With a glance toward George she couldn't help wondering how she would be handling the situation if it had been she sitting with Cathy's arms around her, contemplating the lose of her mate. Furiously she banished such musings. Suddenly Beatrice Zepeta was kneeling in front of the women as they clung together. "Look, I've known Matt a lot of years. He's come through some pretty tough situations." She paused for a minute "and helped me through some as well. He fought to get this far, he's going to make it. Believe me, I know him." Cathy smiled amidst her tears reaching out to place her knuckles against the side of the other woman's face. "Thank you. Somewhere inside I know all that, it's just been so frightening."

George was still pacing "It's been over two hours since we've heard anything from surgery! That can't be a good sign!" He glanced at the wall clock in the waiting room. 2:30 a.m. what could be taking so long? Matt had been in surgery almost nine hours.

He glanced over his shoulder to see Vessna slumped against Albert sleeping peacefully. She had been there with them since Buck had picked her up from her school. He was now at the airport waiting for Emily.

They were all lost in their own thoughts and trying to combat their fears when Dr. Hastings burst through the door still dressed in surgical scrubs. "I am looking for the Sikes family."

They all stood at the same time.

"I'm sorry, I'm looking for the family of Matthew Sikes" he said with a lift of his eyebrows.

"That would be us," Cathy told him, "Matt is my husband and these," she said nodding to George, Susan and the others "are our very good friends."

Hastings merely shrugged and motioned for them to sit. He pulled one of the chairs around and sat directly in front of Cathy his knees almost touching hers. He leaned his elbows on his knees hanging his hands loose between his legs, "Well your husband is one stubborn SOB. Things got a little sticky once or twice, but he just refused to give up." He shook his head, "anyone else in the same condition wouldn't have made it off the table."

"How bad were his injuries, will he survive this?" Cathy asked trying to hold back the fear. The knowledge that Matt had almost died was almost too overwhelming.

"Well we were able to repair the internal damage, which was quite extensive." And he began to list the various injuries "The ruptured liver was not nearly as bad as I had feared and we were able to save his damaged kidney, though I really had my doubts about that for a while. The internal bleeding was the worst but we finally got all the leaks patched. We were almost done when everything started going south. I really didn't give him a snowball's chance in Hell…but he came back on his own, before I could get the paddles juiced up. We were about to move him to recovery when he bottomed out again, but he just wasn't ready to die. He has something," his voice softened and he smiled "or someone, to stay here for." He gripped Cathy's arm above the elbow, "He's not out of the woods yet, but damn, he's fighting with everything he has."

"Okay, people keep the faith and by all means don't give up on him." he said taking in the whole group "If you know anything about praying, it might not hurt to say a few. It sounds hokey I know, but I've seen it work."

Albert was still held the prayer cloth his arms "Oh yes doctor so have I."

"I would like to see him" Cathy said pleading with her eyes.

"Well, he's in recovery right now, but he should be stable enough to move to the ICU in a few hours. I'll send my nurse down to get you when we move him; you can see him then, but only for a few minutes."

She nodded that she understood, "Thank you doctor, thank you for everything."

He patted her arm and stood to leave, and George rose with him, he took the surgeon's hand, "Thank you doctor. He means so much to us. Matthew is family, and if you honestly think prayer will help then we shall do so."

"Let me tell you something friend, I really do believe it can help. There is an almighty God and he's out there listening, whether we believe it or not. I wasn't always so sure but the first time I held a living beating heart in the palm of my hand…well I knew there had to be a God. I just knew." He squeezed George's hand and winked, before turning to leave.

* * *

Grazer had thankfully departed for home with the news that Matt had survived the surgery and that it would probably be morning before any other news would be forthcoming.

Buck and Emily had arrived around 4:00 a.m., and about an hour before daybreak, Buck's cell phone rang. His call to the Red Cross was being returned, they were still looking for Kirby. It would probably be another day or two before they would know anything.

A small human female came into the waiting room, "Hello, Mr. Sikes family?"

George stood to his feet, and said, "That would be us." He said indicating the small group in the waiting room.

"Hi, my name is Rachel Marx, I'm Dr. Hastings' nurse. He told me to come and get you when we had Mr. Sikes moved into the ICU. There is also another waiting room for families of ICU patients if you want to grab your things, I'll show you where it is."

"Thank you so much, nurse Marx," Susan replied.

"Oh, Rachel will do just fine. Dr. Hastings said that all of you could see him, but no more than one or two at a time. If you'll follow me I'll take you to the waiting room."

* * *

Cathy went into the little glassed in cubicle first. She thought she had prepared herself this time, but found that she had not. A respirator was helping him to breathe, IV's were in both arms, and bandages were plastered everywhere, his torso nearly swathed in them. They had cleaned his hair and shaved his beard making him look more like her Matt, that helped.

She timidly reached out to touch him but was afraid. There was a nurse, an older human female almost motherly in her actions, checking his vital signs and reading the various monitors to which he was attached.

She noticed Cathy's hesitation. "Come on dear, you can touch him, in fact it will help him to know that you're here." She reached across the bed and took Cathy's hand placing it on Matt's bandaged chest, palm down and right above the heart. "Tell me, what do you feel?"

Cathy stood there with her hand over his heart. She could feel the muscle as it steadily pumped blood through his veins. "I feel his heart beating." She looked up with a tiny smile and tears glistening in her eyes.

The nurse smiled patting her hand, "That's right dear, and that heart beating under your hand is life. Just remember that. Now you listen to Lily, you have to hold on to your hope, Dearie, don't give up on him. He's made it this far, but he's going to need your help to go on from here."

Seeing her confusion, the nurse said, "Just talk to him dear, just talk to him. Let him know that you're here and what you feel."

Cathy kept her hand over his heart, feeling comfort in the weak but steady beat. She began to stroke his hair with her other hand, running her long fingers through the now clean silky curls. She stood there and spoke to him as if he could hear her. She told him of her feelings, how afraid she had been, how worried they had all been for him, but how she knew he was strong and would come back from this. She told him over and over how much she loved him, and needed him.

The visit was much too short, and it seemed that much too soon it was time to go. She kissed him on the temple, and promised to return soon.

* * *

Buck and Emily came in next. Buck stood protectively behind Emily with his arms around her as they gazed at the still form on the hospital bed. All around them were the beeps, swishes and whirs of the monitors and pumps and other machines, the likes of which they had never seen before. Emily was frightened, she had never seen needles, tubes and machines attached to someone she knew, in such a way.

Matt's face, though very pale and thin, was completely relaxed, the lines of pain and exhaustion having softened and smoothed out. There was a butterfly bandage holding the gash over his eye together. It was rather strange, Matt was hardly ever quiet, and even in his sleep he was hardly ever completely still. They just stood staring not really knowing what to do.

"Oh Buck, he looks so horrible." Emily said as she leaned back against her brother, "What did they do to him?" Buck could only tighten his arms around her, not just to comfort Emily, but himself as well.

The nurse, who had been so kind to Cathy, came bustling in. She smiled and for some reason they did not feel so nervous. "Well, I must say this man is truly blessed, to have so many friends who care so deeply for him."

Emily stared at the nurse and whispered, "Cathy said that we should talk to him. Can he hear us?"

"Oh yes, my dear, I believe he can hear you, in fact although he is unconscious right now, I believe that he knows you're here."

"You really think so?"

"Oh, I know so Dearie." She stood there for a moment looking at them, and then she called to them, "Come here you two, get on either side of the bed." As she watched them do as she had bidden, she continued, "Alright now take his hands in yours, don't worry about the needles, you can take his hand without hurting him."

Emily took the hand that lay next to her. It wasn't cold and stiff like she had feared, but warm. She studied his hand staring at his fingers and all the little wires attaching them to the different monitors. She gasped as those same fingers reflexively and ever so slightly curled around hers. She looked to the nurse with shining eyes, "You were right! He knows I'm here!"

"That's right dear, he knows."

Buck took Matt's other hand "Matt, I'm so sorry, I know that I've been a real ass to you in the past. I'm thankful that things are different now but…I just need you to know how much you mean to me. How much I value your opinion. How much I need you to talk to. I'd miss you terribly if you were to leave us.

The nurse gently patted Emily on the shoulder and nudged her away from the bed. "Come away Dears, its time for you to go, we've just enough time for his other two visitors and then he really needs to rest."

Buck came around from the other side trying to get some control over his emotions. When he reached Emily, the nurse gently touched his cheek and said, "Don't worry Dear, he's always understood. He was young once too you know." And she smiled in a way that made Buck wonder if maybe she could read his mind.

* * *

The ICU restricted visitors to thirteen years and above so Vessna as much as she wanted to see her Uncle Matt was on her way home with Buck and Emily much to George and Susan's relief. Vessna was much too young. George felt a need to guard her future memories. He didn't want this burned into her mind. All that aside, the child was exhausted as were they all.

With no small trepidation the couple entered the ICU cubicle. George felt helpless. This human lying on the bed was his friend, not just his friend but his best friend, his partner, and his brother. He took Matt's hand, and began to remember all the times in the past when this man had cheated death. Surely, his luck would hold this time as well.

Susan standing on the other side began to sing quietly as she had sometimes done for her children when they were ill, or had had a nightmare, trying to soothe and comfort them. She touched his cheek with her fingertips, and then moved to his forehead.

She felt the silkiness of his hair as she combed her fingers through to move some wayward strands from his forehead. She knew that humans stroked one another to comfort or to show affection. She had seen human mothers stroke their children in stressful situations, and had often wondered about it. Hair was dead tissue, wasn't it? But as she allowed her fingers to glide through the silken curls, she felt a connection. It was almost as if she might be strengthening or reinforcing the bond, she had with him. Never had her maternal instincts kicked in so swiftly toward someone outside of her blood family unit.

It was true that Matt was a mature human mail but looking at him now, pale bruised and thin as he was, he looked so small and vulnerable. For a moment, she got a glimpse of the little boy he must once have been, and her heart constricted as she realized that she too loved this human, more than she had known. She wanted to protect him, and comfort him as she would one of her own children.

She had known that these two men in her life had a strong bond, but up until now, she had not realized what Matt had grown to mean to her. How much she had depended on his insight into human behavior or how many times she had used him as a sounding board. Not only had he been her advisor, but he had been her friend as well. George had been right, Matt was family. If they should lose him…well, it wasn't something she wanted to think about, he would survive this. She would not let herself think of the alternative.

George didn't try to hide his tears. He let them run freely as he began to talk. "Matthew, I don't know if you can hear me, but I wanted for you to know that we are here with you. You are not alone, and you are safe now. We want you to know that we…" he swallowed more tears, "we love you, Matt." He looked up to see Susan watching him, and he plunged ahead, "I don't want to loose you. You've fought so hard up to this point, I'm just asking you to keep fighting just a little while longer, don't leave us yet, not like this. I'm so sorry that I was not there to help you when you needed me, but you must know that I would do anything to protect you. Please come back, my life will never be…my life..." he swallowed convulsively "Don't leave me Matthew, please don't leave me."

There had been no indication on Matt's face that he had heard George or even knew that they were there, but George felt Matt's fingers move just a little as if to tighten around his. "George laughed through his tears, "That's right Matthew, keep fighting, you just keep fighting."

Lily came in about that time and told them that it was time to leave. When Susan looked away from Matt, and into her eyes she saw so much hope. Her heart lightened.

George asked her "You will let us know if there is any change, or if anything… should go wrong?" he finished.

"Of course, Dear, but listen to me, what you need to do is believe in him, and let him know that you believe in him. Your friend is strong and you know how stubborn he can be, I don't see him giving up." George's eyes widened, this was what he had told Buck, almost word for word.

* * *

Almost two days later in the late afternoon, Matt groggily came around. He still seemed confused and was very agitated. He didn't know where he was and the different machines and their many sounds only added to his confusion. The intubation tube down his throat along with the other tubes and needles were frightening. His eyes darted around the room as if he might be seeking escape routs. His heart rate and blood pressure were climbing in his agitation. The nurse tried to calm him down but she was unknown, and he couldn't trust anyone. Suddenly his eyes fell on a very familiar and welcome face.

George just happened to be in the tiny ICU room and was about to leave when he heard the groans coming from the bed and without thinking, he nudged the nurse to the side in his need to get to his friend. He was caught off guard by the look of raw terror in Matt's eyes. George's only thought was to comfort him. When Matt's eyes rested on George, almost as if someone had flipped a switch there was only relief reflected in those eyes.

George took his hand and held on to him. Matt held his eyes, never moving his own away from George's face. So this is what Buck was talking about when he said that Matt was holding onto him with his eyes. Even if George had wanted to, there would have been no way he could have looked away.

"Matthew, my friend, you are safe now. Please calm yourself. You need to rest. I swear to you, that no one will hurt you. You are safe. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Matt nodded slightly.

George smiled and gently cupped the side of Matt's face with his hand letting his thumb lightly caress his cheek. Matt closed his eyes and nuzzled into the hand as if seeking comfort.

George had no idea how long he had been standing there when he realized that Matt had allowed himself to fall into a peaceful sleep. He gently pulled his shaking hand away, and quietly moved to the door. He stood looking back for a moment. The nurse smiled and said, "Don't worry I know where to find you."

* * *

The next day Matt seemed to be getting stronger, and was moved out of ICU into a room. In the early afternoon, he began to hemorrhage, and was quickly taken back up to surgery, where for the next several hours Dr. Hastings fought a fierce battle with leaking blood vessels and failing vital signs.

George joined Cathy and his family back in Matt's room where they followed doctor's orders and prayed, a half hour later Albert was there with them and then not too long after that Beatrice was there with her rosary beads. George feeling too restless and hemmed in to pray left them all and wandered aimlessly through the halls of the hospital. It was almost twenty minutes later before he stumbled upon the hospital chapel. Tentatively he pushed the door open and stepped inside. The room was dim and quiet, just the right atmosphere for reflection or meditation. He sat on one of the soft velvet covered benches in the back of the room, and let the quiet peace settle over him.

He heard a rustle of movement toward the front of the chapel and looked up to see Lily, the motherly nurse from the ICU standing from a kneeling position at the altar in front. She spotted him and smiled. "Well George, I don't believe I've seen you in here before."

He looked rather sheepish for a moment and said, "I needed a quiet place to think. We've all been praying but…I needed some space." Again that sheepish look, "I won't lie to you, I'm a little worried. I don't know how much more he can take."

Lily had a smile that would put anyone at ease. She sat next to him on the bench and patted his knee. "You know, George, you can pray in here too."

"I know but I don't know if Celine will hear me in here," he said eyeing the human religious Icons and symbols in the front of the chapel.

Again Lily smiled, "Who knows George, but the Father will hear wherever you may be."

George eyed her nervously, "I'm not human Lily, I've been praying to Celine."

Lily's smile broadened "I know George, but I know that my God will hear you, after all he created you."

George shook his head, "No Lily, as I've said, I'm not of this world."

"Why should that matter? He created all the worlds, everything in the known universe plus those things known only to him."

"You really believe that don't you?" George asked.

Lily became serious, "Yes I do, and it doesn't matter whether or not you might believe. My belief or yours for that matter doesn't prove or disprove the truth of the existence of the Eternal One. Unlike your Celine or Andarko, He never evolved into a higher being. He just always was, is, and shall forever be."

George didn't know what he was feeling, confusion was probably number one on the list, but there were so many other feelings rushing through him as well.

"Look George, as all powerful and all knowing as our Heavenly Father is, still He is not removed from our hurts and fears. He loves us, His creation, His children as it were, with a love we will never understand." She was quiet for a moment as if listening to the silence in the little room. George almost jumped when she continued, "I promise you, if you open your heart and seek Him out, He will hear you, and don't say some prayer by ritual or rote, but just talk to him from your heart." She slowly got to her feet patted him on the shoulder and left him alone in the little chapel.

George laughed to himself and thought, "Okay, why not? Isn't He Matt's God too? What could it hurt." and then on impulse he said aloud, "Lily's God, if you're really out there and willing to listen to someone like me, please save my friend." Tears began to roll down his cheeks and he struggled to control the muscles in his face. "Bring him back to us, and please heal his spirit. Um…thank you…ah…no, I mean, Amen I think."

* * *

In the thick of the battle for Matt's life, his systems began to fail. He was still bleeding, and while Dr. Hastings tried to bring it all under control, Matt flatlined. Hastings reached for the defibrillator, while at the same time George was in the chapel calling out to Lily's God. Suddenly Matt was back, Hastings was able to get the bleeding under control, and Matt's blood pressure was coming back up to safe levels. Then all of his other systems began falling into line. Hastings only shook his head. Knowing better than to look a gift horse in the mouth, he checked to make sure there was no other internal bleeding. He then began to close the incision, mentally saying his own prayer of thanksgiving.

Now they only had to watch him. Hastings' big worry was blood clots. He stayed in the recovery area, not wanting to leave until he was satisfied that Matt was out of immediate danger. He then followed him as he was taken down to the ICU. Standing there at the man's bedside, he felt a connection to this patient. It wasn't the first time the surgeon had felt this. There had been a few others that had really made an impression on the doctor, but there was something about this one that had really gotten hold of him, this was becoming personal.

Surgeons didn't usually like to get personally involved with their patients, but Hastings was different. He was never able to distance himself. Maybe that was what made him so good at what he did.

* * *

It had been seven hours since Matt had been taken up to surgery, when Dr. Hastings knocked on the door to Matt's hospital room where he knew the man's family would be waiting.

Cathy jumped from her seat as he swiftly entered without waiting for an invitation, "Dr. Hastings! What's happened? It's been so long and…"

Hastings held his hand up to silence the many questions, "First of all, just like last time I talked to you, He's alive. We were more than four hours into the surgery, when everything started to shut down. But again like I told you the last time, he just wasn't ready to die." Hastings rubbed the back of his neck, "I don't know, I guess that there's a higher power at work here. I was standing there with the paddles in my hands again, when his heart started on its own." Hastings was exhausted and he looked it. "If you guys are praying, don't stop." He laughed tiredly, "Something's working."

George felt something almost like a cold wind blow down his back. 'Could it be that maybe…?' he swallowed but held his tongue.

"When can I see him," Cathy wanted to know.

Hastings sighed, "I thought it best for him to spend the night in ICU. I'm sorry, I'm restricting visitors to two." He said motioning to Cathy and George. "If he does well, I'll see about having him moved back to his room in the morning, the rest of you can see him then." He nodded to the group and said, "Good evening and do yourselves all a favor. Go home and get some sleep." And with that, he exited in a rush, much as he had entered the room.

* * *

Cathy sent George home adamantly refusing to go herself, saying that she wouldn't be able to sleep anyway.

Lily who was once again Matt's nurse in the ICU, took pity on her and allowed her to stay in the chair next to Matt's bed, in fact it had been her Idea. She had seen that Matt's vital signs seemed to remain stable when Cathy was near. George and Cathy seemed to be his anchors in this world.

Cathy was thankful, it would be a hard night, but she knew that she would sleep better here in this hard strait backed chair than she would at home or anywhere else for that matter. She watched Lily as she checked the IV's and different monitors in the room.

Before leaving, Lily gently placed her hand on Matt's brow. Then unexpectedly she placed a kiss on his forehead. There was so much love and peace in her eyes.

Cathy swallowed around the lump in her throat and whispered, "I'm so thankful you're his nurse again, it almost seems like providence."

"Oh, it is sweetie. I've taken care of this little lamb before." Lily's hand caressed Matt's face.

"Yes of course, I remember the first time he was in the ICU." Cathy nodded

Lily was thoughtful for a moment and nodded also, "Yes, then too." She collected Matt's chart and made sure everything was as it should be, then bustled out of the room.

Cathy hadn't realized that she had nodded off until she heard the rustling of papers at the foot of Matt's bed, and looked up to find Dr. Hastings, going over his chart. He heard her shift in her chair and smiled reassuringly, "His vital signs look good, and he's stable. I see no reason why he can't be moved back to his room in the morning. I'd like to see him wake up first though. I'll cut back on the sedative, and he should awaken sometime in the morning."

"Thank you doctor. What time is it anyway?" she asked unable to see a clock from where she sat.

He closed the chart and tiredly looked up. "2:30 in the a. m." he stated rather matter of factly.

Cathy took a harder look at the doctor, "You know, you keep telling us to go home and get some sleep, but I don't seem to recall a time I haven't seen you around here somewhere since you talked to us yesterday afternoon. Don't you have a home to go to?"

He laughed in surrender, "You got me there. Yes I do, and a wife who is much more understanding than I'll ever deserve. I'm going to make it up to her though, or try. We plan to take about two months and just travel around, maybe go to the mountains and do some fishing. Now that's my idea, she may completely change the itinerary, but that's okay too." He was smiling. "My wife was a country girl when I married her, and she never quite got away from the simpler pleasures. She is just as happy to sit on a riverbank as some doctors wives are to sit on the deck of a cruise ship. I have to admit I am blessed."

"So am I," Cathy said with just a hint of fear in her voice.

Hastings held her eyes with his and smiled again, "You just hang in there, things look good so far, and I'm sure he'll get past the emotional trauma. He's going to come back to you. It's been a long time since I felt this close to a patient. I just have this feeling. It's hard to explain, but somehow I know in my gut, that he's going to come through this."

"I really hope you're right."

"Me too." He sighed, "Well little lady, I have other patients to look in on, try to get a little more sleep, your spots are starting to fade."

Cathy laughed this time, a little embarrassed, "Oh, my I must look a fright."

The surgeon had turned to go, but stopped in his tracks. He turned to Cathy and said, "I don't think you realize how beautiful you really are. You remind me of my wife. You both have this inner glow. I think it's the love shining in your eyes. Your husband is as blessed as I am." He smiled his trademark smile and winked, "Now get some sleep, doctor's orders."

* * *

Matt had remained stable through the rest of the night. There had been no complications, and no hidden surprises.

Susan snuck in around 6:30 and asked, "How is he doing?" then she noticed the near exhaustion of the other woman and added, "and how are you?"

"He's really doing well. Dr. Hastings said that as soon as he awakens he can be moved back to is room, and I will be just fine as soon as I see those eyes open."

Cathy was the first to hear the moan, then Susan caught the sound.

Dark lashes began to flutter as Matt's eyes tried to open. The room was quiet except for the sound of the various monitors.

A soft raspy voice dry as sandpaper spoke from the bed "Hi, beautiful" Relief was palpable in the little room as Cathy looked at him with a wobbly smile, "Hi yourself." She tenderly lay her fingers on his hair, gently brushing her thumb back and forth across his temple.

He spotted Susan, "Hey, Susan, are you crying? Is anything wrong?" He looked around at the room and asked, "Hey, what's up?" his voice was still very dry and weak.

Susan didn't know whether to laugh or cry, she bent over to give him a kiss on the cheek, "Hi, Matt. No, nothing is wrong, in fact everything is wonderful."

He only smiled, his eyes drooping heavily, he was clearly fighting to stay awake, finally losing the battle and drifting off.

Lily was smiling at the door. "There now, that's what we've been waiting for. I'll let Dr. Hastings know."

They met George in the hall as Matt was moved back to his room. Susan was all smiles and Cathy was glowing with relief.

George knew that this could only mean good news, but how good?

Cathy broke away and ran to him, "He spoke to me! This morning he spoke to me! He's back George, he's back. I couldn't believe it, but he spoke to both of us before he fell asleep. Dr. Hastings said that he would do that for the next few days…"

George stopped her, "Hey, wait your talking like a race horse, he'll do what for the next few days?"

Susan answered for her, "Dr. Hastings said that Matt would wake up for a few minutes and then drift off to sleep again. He said that the combination of all the stress his body has taken and the different medications he's been given, will make him groggy for a couple of days, so we are not to be alarmed if he should fall asleep in mid-sentence."

George leaned against the wall. Could it be true? Was his friend back? He felt relief flood through him, lessening the fear that had held him in it's grip.

He thanked Celine for this blessing but thought it good form to thank the God that Lily and Matt prayed to as well. It only seemed fitting.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

The standard disclaimers apply to all chapters; I don't own the series or any of the characters. This was written only for fun and practice.

**Chapter 3**

Matt had been only able to stay awake for about fifteen minutes at a time before drifting off to sleep again. Someone in the family had been there the whole day, members coming and going. Emily reluctantly came to say goodbye, she definitely had to get back to school.

Vessna had resolutely stood at Matt's bedside talking about everything and nothing all at once, only as seven year olds are able to do, until George and Susan felt that maybe Matt might need a little rest from the constant prattle and took the little girl home.

Buck and Jason had gotten off shift and stopped by for an hour or so. Buck almost felt like weeping at the sound of Matt's voice. He could still see those lost lifeless eyes in his sleep. It was a memory he didn't know if he could ever forget. He stood at Matt's bedside swallowing that lump in the back of his throat and just drinking in the sight of his friend awake and talking. He held onto a bony hand careful of not to squeeze to tight.

When it was time to leave, he had to force himself to let go. He wanted desperately to hold on to this big brother, to keep him here safe. To keep him from slipping off into that other place again. Buck didn't think he could bear that. He savagely pushed such thoughts out of his mind and smiled biding his friend a good night.

Susan came back to the hospital to see if perhaps she could talk Cathy into leaving just for the night, "Cathy why not come with me? You look like you're ready for a room yourself."

"Oh, Susan I'm fine, I'm better than fine now, I can really believe he's going to make it through this." She smiled and returned the embrace, "I promise after tonight, I'll go home, but I need to be here tonight. I want him to know that he's not alone. I know it sounds silly, but it's important to me."

"No, it's not silly at all," Susan smiled and gave her a hug.

"Thank you Susan, what would I have done without you and George?" she said her chin wobbling dangerously.

"I'm only glad that there was something we could do, that you didn't have to face something like this alone." Susan was a little wobbly herself by now. "I know that if our situations were reversed, you would do the same…both of you. They embraced again, and Susan quickly grabbed for her purse and just as quickly retreated leaving Cathy alone with Matt for what would turn out to be one of the longest nights she had ever faced.

* * *

Only a couple of hours had passed since Susan had gone home and Cathy had drifted into a light doze, she was awakened by a frantic mumbling and a choked half sob, she rushed over to Matt who was moving fitfully in his sleep.

His skin was clammy, and his hair was damp and clinging to his forehead. His hands were clawing at the sheet that covered him, almost as if he were trying to get away from something.

Fearing that he might pull out one of his IV's, she reached for his hands holding them by the wrists, trying to keep them still. He came awake immediately at her touch, his eyes wide open, and in their depths, she caught a glimpse of a fear so raw she could almost feel it herself. He was gasping for breath taking in large gulps of air.

"Matt, wake up! Come back to me, love. Come back." She coaxed keeping her voice low and gentle, not wanting to frighten him further. She kept a tight hold on his wrists, holding them down firmly against the mattress until she was sure he was coming around.

She watched as his breathing came back under control, and that look of cold terror faded from his eyes as recognition began to take hold. "Are you alright now? That must have been some dream." She studied his eyes, smoothing the damp hair back from his face.

He only nodded turning his face away from her, trying to pull himself together.

She released her hold on his other wrist and he grabbed for her hand. His eyes were closed and his face was still turned away from her, and although his breathing was much more in control, his heart was still thumping against his breastbone.

"Want to talk about it?" she asked him.

"No, don't want to go there." he mumbled his face still turned away from her, "Just be here okay? Please don't leave." He asked in a small trembling voice sounding almost like a frightened little boy.

She was frightened herself but tried to hide it for his sake, "Yes Love, whatever you want, I'll do whatever you want." She continued stroking her fingers through his hair until he stilled and she was sure he was asleep once again.

This became a pattern for the rest of the night. First the terrible nightmare, his panicked terrified struggles to wake up, and then Cathy soothing him back to sleep. This cycle continued once or twice every hour or so with Cathy totally exhausted but much too frightened to get any rest herself. She was there at his bedside the whole night afraid to take her eyes off him.

She had called a nurse hoping to get a stronger sedative. "I'm sorry but we can't give him anything stronger, it would be too dangerous. If you like I will ask the doctor on call for his opinion."

Cathy nodded gratefully and waited for the doctor.

Dr. Flyn was very sympathetic as he looked over Matt's chart but "I'm sorry, I have to agree with Gina, we can't give him anything stronger." He continued to look over the chart frowning here and there.

Finally with a sigh he looked up for the first time and his features softened, "The sedatives we've used are not the problem. Your husband is subconsciously fighting anything we give him. How long was he missing?"

"He was gone for almost a week and a half, I can only guess at what he must have gone through in all that time." Her voice was strained and she was on the verge of tears.

Matt was asleep but still restless, the doctor turned toward him, studying his face. "He was able to resist the sedatives given to him by his captors forcing them to give him stronger and stronger doses. Even though it's been a little more than a week he only grew more resistant, leaving us where we are tonight. I'm sorry Mrs. Sikes, anything stronger will only weaken his heart."

Cathy had known but that had not stopped her from hoping. "I understand Doctor. Thank you for coming." He smiled sadly and gave her arm a squeeze before he left.

Just as the sun was beginning to rise she jerked herself awake to find that she was still on her feet by Matt's bedside, his hand still held tightly in her own. She looked into his face and saw that he was awake and starring out through the window.

He turned his face toward her and she could see the confusion in his eyes, he blinked a couple of times as if to clear his vision, "What happened to me, where am I?"

Cathy could feel the fear tickle in her stomach again, "You're in the hospital Matt, don't you remember?"

She could tell he was still frightened, he blinked his eyes again trying to dispel the growing sense of panic "No, the last thing I remember before waking up yesterday morning is saying goodnight to George," he glanced toward the window watching the sun rise. "Night before last night, I guess."

"No, Love, it's been longer than that." she lightly caressed the back of his hand with her thumb, unsure of how much to tell him. She could tell he was in no state to understand much of anything at the moment. "Matt, let's talk about this later when you're stronger okay? Right now you still need to rest, so stop fighting the sedatives. I'm here and I won't let anyone hurt you."

He found he didn't have the strength to argue with her, he nodded his head secure in the knowledge that he wasn't alone. "okay…love you." and fell into a deep sleep. One without dreams this time.

* * *

George and Susan with Vessna in tow dropped by sometime around nine that morning and found Cathy ready to drop at any minute. Susan had her mind made up and wouldn't take no for an answer she had decided that Cathy would go home with her if she had to carry her bodily. "Susan, you have no idea how horrible last night was. I can't leave him, I promised I wouldn't."

Matt who up until that moment had been in a sound sleep, spoke up unexpectedly, "Cathy, I'm a big boy I'll be okay. Go get some sleep." His voice was still weak, but she couldn't miss the underlying determination.

"Alright, if you're sure, I really could use a shower." She said uncertainly, rubbing his cheek with the back of her fingers.

"Cathy, George can stay, so I won't be alone. I promise I'll be okay." His eyes were very heavy and he was fighting to keep them open.

"Okay, I guess if you're sure, but I'll be back soon." she kissed his cheek and almost reluctantly started after Susan.

Susan reached for Vessna's hand but the little girl moved quickly to stand by her father. "Come on now Vessna we have to get your Aunt Cathy home, I don't have time for this."

"No! I want to stay with Matt! I promise I won't keep him awake, please let me stay?" she pleaded.

"Vessna, come on now, your Uncle Matt is very tired and needs to rest."

George intervened, "Susan, let her stay with me for a while. If she gets restless I'll call you, okay?"

"Alright, but don't let her pester him. He needs to rest." She ordered as she ushered Cathy out the door.

Matt had drifted off to sleep again so his visitors got comfortable and waited for one of his waking moments.

George and Vessna were sitting together in the chair previously occupied by Cathy. Vessna sitting quietly across his knees her arm around his neck with her head leaned against his shoulder. Both seemed content to simply watch Matt sleep. After a little while she stirred sitting up to look into her father's face.

"Opa?"

"Yes little one, what are you thinking?"

"Why is Matt hurt? Did someone hurt him on purpose?"

George cleared his throat and sadly looked into her eyes "Yes, I'm afraid so."

"Why?"

George didn't rightly know what to say. He shook his head slightly and answered to the best of his ability. "I don't know why. Our people and the Humans are different in many ways but we are also alike in many ways. There are some who do bad things. They don't care about the rights of others. They take things that don't belong to them, and they hurt others for no reason at all. That is the reason that your Uncle Matt and myself and even Buck decided to become policemen. We try to stop the bad people from doing the bad things they do."

"One of them did not like for Matt to stop him from doing bad things?"

George smiled and nodded, "It's a possibility."

The little girl scrunched her face up worriedly, "What about you and Buck?"

He chuckled and tightened his arms around her "There's nothing for you to worry about. Buck and I will be just fine. And there are many police officers watching the hospital all the time even if you can't see them. There is always someone watching this room. There are officers watching all the doors and we even have some officers in the parking garage. We won't let anyone hurt Matt again."

"But if you and Buck make him mad, won't he hurt you too?"

George took her fears seriously, "There is always a possibility that any police officer might get hurt, but there is an old earth saying, 'to be forewarned is to be forearmed' that means that Buck and I know that this person is out there and we will not be surprised as was your Uncle Matt."

She seemed satisfied for the time being, although he could tell that she was pondering over what he had told her. She nodded her head and lay back against his chest, her head just beneath his chin.

After about half an hour Matt awoke and smiled groggily, "Hey Sweetpea, you're awfully quiet."

"I'm not supposed to pester you." She answered cutting her eyes around to her father.

Matt chuckled lightly, "As if you could ever be a pest." He grimaced when he tried to move his head too swiftly. Seeing the look of concern on his visitor's faces, he quickly moved to put them at ease. "Don't worry, just a twinge."

"Come on," he patted the bed at his side, "Come up here where I can see you. Don't worry you won't hurt me."

She turned uncertainly to her father who simply stood and as gently as possible deposited the little girl on the bed beside Matt.

Matt smiled, but at this close range, Vessna could tell that he was hurting. She patted his shoulder with her little hand, "Do you need some medicine to make you not hurt anymore?"

"They've already given me some medicine, but I just bet that one of your stories would help. You think you can tell me a good one? One that will make me forget how bad my leg hurts?"

She leaned in toward him, "Oh, yes. It will have adventure and guess what?"

He smiled at her enthusiasm, "What Sweetpea?"

"Elephants." She whispered.

* * *

Cathy and George met with Dr. Carl Jimenez in his office two days later. He had done the Psych work up on Matt. He was rather young for his position as chief Psychiatric resident, but he was good at what he did. He had a way with people, making them feel at ease. He was easy to trust and most people were willing to open up to him. He knew when to push and how far to push, but he also knew when to back off, or not push at all.

One of the first things Cathy noticed about him was his eyes. They were a soft rich chocolate brown that seemed to light up when he smiled, which seemed to be most of the time.

"Well, where to begin?" He studied the floor for a moment.

"Matt is a very strong individual. Very few people would have been able to survive what he did, and on the surface, he seems to be holding things together pretty well."

"But?" She had that sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach again.

"Although he is recovering physically, he is terribly injured on an emotional level. He's scared, and he doesn't know how to fix this situation." he looked her in the eyes. "He is putting on a strong front, hiding behind the façade of his old self. He is trying to convince himself that everything is okay now. He's frustrated that he can't remember the events that put him here, but on a deeper level he doesn't really want to know. The thought of digging up whatever is buried in his mind, scares him to death." Dr. Jimenez seemed thoughtful for a moment before continuing, "He seems to be at odds with himself. There is the part of him that is the policeman, wanting all the facts so that he can bring someone to justice, and then there is the part that is the victim wanting only to hide from anymore pain."

"What can we do?" George spoke up for the first time.

"Just what you've been doing, be here for him. Let him know that he's not alone in this. I'm glad he has such a strong support base." he smiled reassuringly.

"He will need to see someone professionally though, this will only fester. He can't just go on as if nothing has ever happened. Those memories will find a way to come out, right now it seems perhaps to be in his dreams, but again he has no memory of them when he awakens."

He was thoughtful for a moment as if weighing his next words, "You know that he won't be able to go back to work until he passes a psychiatric evaluation."

George nodded and worriedly asked, "You said that he needed professional help, do you think that will hurt him in an evaluation?"

"No, detective Francisco, in fact I think that it will be a positive move."

"If you would like I can refer you to several good doctors…"

With a quick glance in Cathy's direction, George interjected, "With Cathy's permission, I know of someone already. She's someone we've worked with in the past on a couple of cases, and I believe that Matt has confidence in her abilities, I know I do."

Cathy squeezed his hand and nodded. "Yes George I trust you. Will you ask her to see him?"

* * *

"I don't know why I have to see a psychiatrist! There's nothing wrong with my head. Besides I've already talked to that kid who came in here this morning." Matt had just returned from therapy and was very tired and more than a little uncooperative. Besides his leg hurt like hell.

"He's not a kid, Matt, he just looks young. Please just think about it. You know that if you don't see her, the department will send their own." Cathy was really trying to hold on to her patience.

"Crazy people need a shrink! I'm not crazy!" He said with a defiant shake of his head.

"No one said that you were crazy, but you're having nightmares due to the trauma you suffered. Face it Matt, you have been through a horribly traumatic experience. What can it hurt?"

He reconsidered, "Okay, I'll see her but I'm warning you, if she starts that Freudian crap about me wanting to get it on with my mother she's out of here."

Cathy couldn't help herself she had to laugh, "Matt, what am I going to do with you?"

He grinned like a precocious little boy "love me?"

"Yes, always," she told him with a caress of her knuckles to his temple.

* * *

Dr. Marcie Wright, had been in private practice for six years now and had made a name for herself. She was one of the leading child psychologists in the nation, with patients willing to travel from as far away as the East Coast. George had called her that afternoon and explained the situation to her. Normally she would have turned down the case, but she knew George and his partner. She had been the department psychologist for several years and had her share of confrontations with the two but she had worn them down and eventually they had learned to trust her and had become friends.

Dr. Wright had told her assistant to clear her schedule. She planned to see only one appointment that afternoon and George was it. When he arrived she was shocked by his appearance. He was pale and so tired and care worn. It was the pane in his eyes when he told her about Matt that really broke her heart.

Over the next few days, Marcie would go over Matt's medical records and the police report more times than she cared to remember. The account of his many injuries made her cringe and filled her with an anger that made her blood boil.

Marcie had her first meeting with Matt as a patient two days later, and a day before he was to leave the hospital.

She had always known that Matthew Sikes was one of the good guys. There was something about him that she really liked. For one thing, he got her jokes without her having to explain the punch line. Just as easily she was able to understand his own dry sense of humor.

She quickly put him at his ease. They laughed and talked and just got to know one another again. Instinctively Matt knew he could trust her, but he was still wary. He didn't know how much of himself he wanted for her or anyone else for that matter, to see. He really didn't know how much he himself wanted to know.

Almost an hour later Marcie looked at her watch and let her breath out with a whoosh, "My! I hadn't realized how long I'd been here." She laughed again and took his hand, "I look forward to our next meeting and, Matt, I want you to know that I know that you're not crazy, or insane."

Matt could feel the sincerity of her words, "Thanks doc." relief evident in his voice.

She smiled and squeezed his hand before continuing, "We are going to work on getting rid of those nightmares, but I won't lie to you, it's not going to be easy. You're going to have to confront some unpleasant memories and intense feelings, but you're not going to have to do this alone. Matt, you are very fortunate in that you have people who love you very much. I also want you to know that any time you want to talk to me about anything, all you have to do is call me." She fished a scrap of something white out of her purse and handed it to him. "Here's my card, my home and cell phone numbers are written on the back. I mean it Matt, I want for you to call me anytime you feel the need to talk, about anything. Okay?"

He smiled and took the card, relieved that she thought he wasn't crazy, because he had started to doubt the fact himself.

After Dr. Wright had gone, Matt lay back against the pillows his eyes staring out the window at nothing in particular. Matt had never been so confused in his whole life. Deep down he knew he needed help, but he had always been able to take care of himself, and it was hard for him to admit that maybe, just maybe, he would have to rely on someone else.

He looked away from the window and noticed that he still held Dr. Wright's card in his fingers. He started to toss it into the waist can next to his bed, but in a rare fit of good judgment decided to drop it in his shaving kit on the night stand.

* * *

Matt was tired of being helpless, and very anxious to get his life back. He wanted desperately to get back to work, but he knew that wouldn't happen until his injuries had healed and he had passed his psych evaluation. At least leaving the hospital felt like he was making some progress in that direction.

George had convinced Cathy that it would be best if she and Matt were to come home with him and Susan, at least for a couple of days. She was already fearful, who knew what that maniac would do next? She hardly went anywhere without looking over her shoulder or imagining that someone was following her. At first Matt had been greatly disappointed to find that he would not be going home, but just getting out of the hospital was a big deal. He'd take one step at a time.

Cathy came through the door with a smile of anticipation on her face. She was as happy as Matt about leaving.

Matt was dressed and sitting in the chair by the window watching her gather his few things together. Not until now did he see just how tired and drawn she was. Thinking back on it he couldn't remember a time during his whole stay in the hospital that she had not been there somewhere. She had refused to leave him, and he loved her even more for that. Maybe George was right, they would be better off at his house for a few days. He would be too big a burden for her to care for alone. Surely he would be able to take care of himself before too very long.

He cleared his throat, "Thank you."

"For what? You really don't have that many things here to pack, besides I need to keep busy or I'll burst." She laughed.

He reached for her, "Come here, I wasn't talking about that. I was talking about everything else, about not giving up on me…about being here. I can't remember you're not being here. You're my rock, Cathy. It scares the life out of me to think what I'd do without you."

Her eyes brimming with tears, she clutched at his hand. "I couldn't not be here. All I could think of was that you might wake up and think you were alone in that other place." She sniffed and squeezed his hand, "I just couldn't bear the thought. I love you Matt, more than I knew myself." She was really having a hard time holding on to her composure. "If anything were to happen to you, I don't know what I would do. You have become a part of me, if you were to die a part of me would die as well."

She was on her knees by Matt's chair now trying to get closer to eye level. He took her face in his hands and wiped her tears away with his thumbs. She brought her lips to his face and kissed his own away.

Their time together was interrupted by an orderly with a wheelchair, "Sorry sir, are you ready?"

Opening his eyes, but never taking them off Cathy's face he said, "Oh yes, we're ready." Then smiling at the young man he added "I would say that we're more than ready."

* * *

Matt had been settled and made as comfortable as was possible amidst pillows and blankets on the big queen sized bed in the Francisco guest room, while George and Cathy had quickly made a run to the apartment for some clothing and other belongings they would need for their stay away from home.

While George cleaned out her refrigerator, Cathy pushed the play button on the answering machine. She had tried to keep up with all the messages. So many people cared about both of them…it warmed her heart.

The first message was from an unknown number, there was silence and then just a click. The second was the same, but the third paralyzed her with fear. It also was from an unknown number but this time the caller left a message. It was a cultured voice perhaps European and it dripped with menace and perversion. "Hello my pet," it crooned "I only called to wish you a happy homecoming. Our time together was heaven, perhaps we can pick up where we left off. I'll be seeing you…" the message ended there.

Terrified Cathy looked into George's own frightened eyes and they immediately ran for the door.

George drove like a mad man in his hurry to get home, chastising himself all the way. What could he have been thinking? They had all been so relieved to get Matt back alive and now home that he hadn't thought about the fact that a monster was still out there somewhere.

He screeched to a stop tires skidding on the pavement of the driveway. He and Cathy ran through the front door to find Vessna standing in the middle of the living room staring at something in the corner, her stuffed elephant clutched tightly in her arms.

Turning to the corner George saw Matt sitting on the floor his back wedged into the corner. He had pulled his good leg up tightly to his chest hugging it there, his other still wearing his braise, lying out straight in front of him. His eyes were closed tightly and he was rocking back and forth.

Susan was sitting on the floor in front of him trying to get him to respond to her, but each time she even came close to touching him, he would jerk away.

George crouched down to better look into his daughter's face, "Vessna what happened?" She didn't answer him she only turned and pointed toward the telephone, and George knew that in spite of his best efforts, the monster had beaten them home.

As much as they tried, Matt would let no one come close to him. In desperation, Cathy finally remembered that she had seen Dr. Wright's card in Matt's shaving kit. She ran up the stairs and rummaged in amongst his toiletries until she found it. Flying back down the stairs she nervously dialed one of the numbers on the back. She felt a flood of relief roll over her with the sound of that gentle voice on the other end. "Doctor Wright, I am calling for Matt Sikes, I am his wife." She added nervously, "Please, can you come? I don't know what to do. He has closed himself off and he won't let anyone anywhere near him." she listened for a moment and bowed her head. She then gave the doctor the address. "Thank you so much Doctor, please hurry."

She hung up and came back to her husband. She didn't try to touch him again, she merely sat with him. Being there would have to be enough for now. Susan rose to her feet and took her little one up stairs and away from the heartbreaking drama unfolding in her living room.

It had only taken Marcie about fifteen minutes to arrive, but it had seemed like a small lifetime to Cathy and George.

It was obvious that she would have to use a sedative to calm him down enough to get him upstairs and back into bed. She turned to George, "George, I need your, help. If you can, I need you to hold him still for me. I need to give him something to calm him down before he hurts himself."

George nodded and lowered himself slowly to the floor in the most non threatening way he knew. He then scooted up to Matt on his 'bad leg' side. He was able to grab his friend and tightly wrapping his arms around the writhing figure, holding him secure against his chest. The doctor in one fluid motion swabbed his arm, gave the injection and moved back to wait.

Matt seemed to be fighting the sedative for a moment then suddenly with a whimper, he relaxed and slumped into George's arms. George held him close for a few moments laying his cheek on top of the soft curls that covered his partners head, willing himself to calm down. He then lifted Matt from the floor with no more effort than if he'd been a child. Careful not to do further damage to the wounded leg, he cradled his friend close to his chest and carried him up the stairs.

He lay his unconscious partner gently on the bed almost reluctant to let go of him. He made sure that he was comfortably situated as Dr. Wright lifted the injured leg and gently lay it on the small mound of pillows placed there by Cathy.

The doctor checked his heart rate and took his blood pressure. She seemed satisfied that her patient was stable for the time being, and sighed heavily. "What brought this on anyway?" she asked.

George guiltily looked up and quietly admitted "I'm not sure but I think his abductor left a message on my answering machine."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

The standard disclaimers apply to all chapters; I don't own the series or any of the characters. This was written only for fun and practice.

**Chapter 4**

George stood shaking in front of his telephone, he had never felt so vulnerable in his own home.

The monster had violated his home. With a shaking hand he reached out and almost reluctantly pushed the play button on the answering machine.

Beep! _"So, my sweet I have found you at last. I meant it when I said that you were my favorite, you always were, you know. I can't get you out of my mind, and even now I can taste you on my lips. You are a sweet nectar, and after having tasted you again, I won't let you go, not this time. You are my obsession. You are my addiction. You are mine and always will be." _Beep!

George stood rooted to the spot. _"You are mine_._"_ That slow sultry voice seemed to reverberate through his head. _"You are mine."_ a stab of fear coursed through his body. He couldn't begin to imagine the terror that Matt must have felt.

He shook his head as if to clear his mind. Something wasn't right. He pushed the rewind button on the answering machine, then the play button. _"I meant it when I said that you were my favorite, you always were"_ quickly George pushed stop. He rewound the tape just a little and pushed play again. _"my favorite, you always were"._

Suddenly something clicked for George, 'you always were'he mumbled to himself. 'you were my favorite, you always **were**' past tense 'you **are** mine'present tense. There was history here. The voice had been very possessive not angry, George listened to a bit of the message again, _"after having tasted you again"_ George shuddered _'again'_ how did Matt know this man? He pushed the play button again, _"I won't let you go, not this time" _George felt his skin crawl. 'not **this** time'He could feel his pulse thundering in his ears, there was definitely history here and it seemed that the sultry voiced monster wished it to be history no longer.

George was filled with a rage, white hot and almost overpowering. He started to tremble with the effort to keep himself from screaming. He could still see the raw terror in Matt's eyes. He could remember too well how his friend had trembled as he held him sitting there on the floor. How he had cried. That was something Matt would never do in the past. He had always kept a tight reign on any emotion that would make him seem week. He had always seemed so fearless. But sitting here on this floor, George turned slightly and glanced into the corner, Matt had sobbed into his shoulder, and had trembled uncontrollably until the sedative had done its work. He had been terrified.

George hadn't moved away from the phone, in fact his hand was still on the answering machine. He quickly hit the eject button pulled the small tape from the machine and dropped it in his coat pocket. "He's not yours you bastard, he never was and he never will be." he hissed and stood with his hands clenched tightly in front of him, his knuckles almost glowing white. He forced himself to calm down. He flexed his fingers and let his hands drop to his sides, and in a voice dangerously calm and determined he finished, "I will stop you, there will be no next time." He whispered into the empty room.

* * *

The bedroom was dark and quiet except for the steady rhythm of Matt's breathing. Vessna stood in the doorway eyes wide and Abigail, her stuffed elephant, still clutched tightly under her arm. She had never seen her Uncle Matt or for that matter any other adult act so afraid. Like most children she had the odd idea that grownups didn't get scared. This had been a revelation for her.

She took a tiny step and stopped, watching Matt's chest rise and fall as he breathed, he didn't move so she took another. By the time she had made it to the bed she had gathered her courage and without stopping to think, she crawled up and lay down beside her bestest grown up friend. She snuggled up against his side reaching her arm up and around his middle much as she had done when he had been in the hospital. Instinctively Matt curled his arm around the little girl holding her and Abigail closer.

Vessna heaved a sigh of relief. He hadn't pushed her away, maybe he was going to be okay now. She sighed again and burrowed in deeper against him. She didn't like for him to be alone, it was scary being alone. She didn't like it herself.

She missed Emily terribly and had a hard time getting to sleep at night without her. George and Susan had tried to soothe her fears, but she couldn't get accustomed to the silence or the feeling that something was hiding under her bed.

Matt had been very sympathetic, he had understood. One day about two weeks after Emily had been away at school, Matt had picked her up one afternoon. He told her that he had found a poor lost elephant who was very lonely and needed a home and a friend to look after, would she be interested in helping out. That was how she had first met Abigail. She had no idea how Abigail was able to keep the monsters away, but they were terrified of her and kept their distance fleeing the closet or anywhere else they might have been hiding.

There was no way Vessna would be able to give Abigail up, but she was willing to share. She and Abigail together would keep that bad man away from Matt so he wouldn't have to be so scared anymore. After all, no one in their right mind would brave an angry elephant.

* * *

Marcie sat at her desk going over Matt's medical records, psych work up, and the police report again. She had read and reread them until she could almost recite all the entries word for word.

This was going to be a tough case, but Matt was worth it, he was one of the good guys and she would do everything in her power to help him get his life back. She still had a copy of Matt's personality profile from almost eight years before. Way back then there were doors Matt refused open, she knew that it would be even harder now.

* * *

It was late afternoon, almost evening when Matt started coming around, he was disoriented and very confused. He had no idea where he was and began to panic, his heart thumping almost painfully in his chest. He felt something tickle against his cheek and jerked away almost falling off the bed. He suddenly found himself face to face with a fuzzy grey stuffed elephant. Relief washed over him, it had been Abigail's velour trunk resting on his cheek.

He smiled feeling foolish and lay back covering his eyes with his forearm. Memories began to flood his brain. Nothing clear though, still nothing made sense. He knew he had been hurt, he could remember the pain and the mind numbing terror. But it was almost like trying to see through murky water.

He could remember clearly the days in the hospital and the many humiliations he had had to endure. The endless parade of doctors and nurses coming and going at their conveyance, looking at him touching him and never asking his permission before taking blood, drawing fluid off his bladder or the many embarrassing examinations. The rectal examinations had been the worst, even now he could feel his face burning.

He hated this. He hated being so week, so dependent on Cathy and his friends. Hell! Even after the catheter had been removed from his bladder, he hadn't been able to take a piss without someone there to help him. His face burned again as he remembered the nurses and even George, who had held the urinal for him while he had taken care of business.

His mind was so full of holes with some flashes of clear memory like in the hospital, but all too many hazy recollections. "I'm losing my mind" he thought despondently. That thought brought back the memory of what had happened that morning. He had lost it right there in George and Susan's living room. He had become a basket case just listening to that voice. But damn, he could still feel that oily voice sliding over his skin. He couldn't remember a face but he could remember that voice and it filled him with revulsion. He began to shake and suddenly he was gripped by stomach cramps that had him sitting bolt upright gasping for breath and breaking out in a cold sweat. He hated himself again for the tears that refused to be held back and made tracks down his face. He groaned and wrapped his arms as tightly as he was able around his middle, feeling nauseous.

He hadn't heard her come in the room but Cathy was quickly there next to him, "What's wrong?" her voice was full of concern.

"Sick" was all he was able to get past his chattering teeth.

Cathy quickly helped him to lean over the side of the bed. He was mortified, he could feel George watching him from the doorway, but he couldn't help himself as he retched and threw up what little had been in his stomach.

He lay back exhausted his head spinning. 'Oh God, was this ever going to stop?' he thought to himself.

"You okay?" Cathy's voice sounded far away as she cleaned up the mess in the floor.

He only nodded wishing everyone would just go away and leave him alone.

She finished and came back to sit on the side of the bed watching his face for any sign that he might be sick again. She let her hand rest on his shoulder and he stiffened noticeably. She moved her hand to her lap never having felt so helpless in her life. She wanted desperately to comfort him in some way, but was totally in the dark as to what to do.

Earlier that day after Matt had been sedated and put to bed, Dr. Wright had gathered the family together downstairs. "There are some things I feel I need to go over with you about what you might expect in the days to come." She looked around the room at Matt's family, the people he would depend upon as his support base and continued, "You have probably already noticed a change in his personality, he may seem sullen, and nontalkative or he may go to the other extreme and even seem overly upbeat some days, don't let this behavior fool you, and I believe that you have noticed that he is quick to anger, getting upset over little things at the drop of a hat." She had guessed right as the family nodded back to her.

"Matt is still in a state of denial. Many people feel that talking about the trauma will only make things worse, that it is better to push it to the back and try to forget to go on as if nothing ever happened. Unfortunately this never works."

She took a deep breath and exhaled, taking Cathy's hand she said "Don't be surprised if he tries to push you away," she then looked to the rest "all of you. Don't let him, he will need you more in the coming days than he ever has. I won't lie to you this is not going to be easy." she looked into Cathy's eyes her own full of encouragement "He may not want for anyone to touch him, even you Cathy. Many victims of sexual assault become nervous or upset or even nauseous by nothing more than a light touch. I'm afraid it may be a while before he will be able to participate in any kind of physical relationship."

George spoke up, "You said that he needed to talk about what happened to him."

"Yes, but I don't think it would be a good idea for any of you to bring that subject up, unless of course he does, but I don't think that's very likely. That will be my job. All you need to do is be here for him."

Cathy now sat next to Matt with all this going through her head. She could tell that when she had touched his shoulder he hadn't liked it. He hadn't said anything he probably wouldn't, but she could tell that it had bothered him and it broke her heart. "Is there anything I can do for you Love? Do you need anything?"

"Hand me my crutches I need to go to the bathroom."

George still in the doorway turned and headed toward the stairs calling over his shoulder, "Sorry Matt, I think they're still downstairs."

"If my crutches are downstairs then how did I get up here?" but he cut Cathy off before she could answer, "No don't tell me, I don't want to know."

George was back with the crutches and as much as Matt had wanted to get up unassisted, he had to let George help. He gave them a painfully false smile, and firmly closed the door to the bathroom saying, "Thanks, but I believe I can handle this myself."

He stood leaning on his crutches, waiting for his hands to stop shaking. He glance up into the mirror and found himself face to face with a stranger. 'That's not me' he thought staring at the gaunt face with the frightened haunted eyes. He quickly looked down deciding to avoid mirrors for a while. Finally he felt steady enough to relieve himself into the toilet, and for the first time in weeks felt a little of his old confidence come back. He laughed at himself then, 'Oh, man you really are a mess! All you did was take a leak by yourself.'

All done he moved over to the sink and leaned against it to wash his hands, still avoiding the mirror, he knew it was foolish but he couldn't take seeing that face again. He didn't know who that person was, but he knew damn well it wasn't him.

He opened the door to find George and Cathy waiting out in the hallway. "Look you guys, you don't have to hover over me I'm okay, getting better every day." He remembered the face in the mirror and knew they wouldn't believe him.

He slowly made the tortuous trip back to the bed and exhausted, allowed George to help him again. Soon he was back in under the soft warm blankets. He knew they were only trying to help, but he couldn't face them right now he just wanted them to leave him alone. Did they see what he had seen when he had looked into the mirror? Did they see that other man? He closed is eyes embarrassed at the thought. That wasn't him that couldn't be him. "That's not me." He mumbled.

"What was that? I'm sorry I didn't hear you." Cathy bending suffocatingly close to his face and he began to feel panic closing in on him. "Nothing, just thinking out loud." Another false smile.

"Can I do anything for you? Get you anything?"

He closed his eyes tighter, "No. I'm tired, just need to sleep. You don't have to sit and fuss over me, I'll be okay. Just need to sleep. Okay guys, just leave me alone for awhile okay? I promise you I'll scream bloody murder if I need anything, right now I just need to sleep."

"Okay, but call me if you need anything, I'll be just next door in Vessna's room."

"Thanks, I'll be okay"

She was a little hurt that he didn't want her to stay. He had seemed to welcome her presence while in the hospital. she had really hoped that the doctor had been wrong, that he wouldn't try to push her away.

She gave him his meds and made sure he was comfortable, then reluctantly she stood to go. "Well if you're sure…Matt you know that I love you." And she lightly kissed his forehead only to see his eyes close tighter.

He felt horrible for doing this to her, he really didn't know why he was doing it. Before she made it to the door he called out to her. "I'm sorry Cathy, I don't know what's wrong with me. It's been a long day, and I'm dead tired. Look, things will be better tomorrow. Cathy, I love you too you know that don't you?"

She smiled sadly, "Yes Love, now go to sleep." She turned out the light but did not close the door, she left it open just a crack, just to be sure she could look in on him, or hear him if he should cry out in the night.

Matt lay in the bed listening to her soft footfalls as she made her way to the room next door. 'Stupid, stupid, stupid.' He knew all he would have had to do was ask her to stay and wild horses wouldn't have gotten her out of that room, but he couldn't, he just couldn't. 'What is wrong with me?' he thought while he lay in the darkness. 'Dead tired, yeah I'm dead tired alright. Maybe more like just dead or should be dead. It would make things easier for everybody.' He felt so many conflicting emotions, 'I should have died, Cathy would be a lot better off. She would grieve, but eventually she would be able to get on with her life…he could feel the warm tears as they were squeezed out and ran down both sides of his face to get lost in his hair.

* * *

George sat in his study with a carton of a very good three week blend of Kentucky blue and Tennessee Guernsey Rye. He was just on the verge of getting a good little buzz going. The thin white liquid lightly coated his throat as it slid down to his stomach. He knew it was foolish to indulge himself but right now he didn't give a damn.

He had never felt so out of his depth…so inadequate. He hurt for Matt, and he desperately hated the monster who had done this to him. He hurt for himself, he wanted his partner and friend back. He wanted his old life back, and there was no doubt in his mind that he would find it easy to kill the bastard when he caught him, and catch him he would.

He had emptied the carton and still he wasn't drunk, not like he wanted to be. He grabbed his coat and started for the door, but on his way out he thought he heard something in the living room. Quietly he made his way into the darkened room only to find Susan sitting on the floor in the corner where Matt had been earlier that morning.

"Susan, what are you doing?" confusion clouding his voice.

She looked up with tear filled eyes…eyes so full of pain and helplessness. "I tried to help him George, but he was so frightened. I've never seen him like that. I tried to touch him and he begged me not to hurt him, not again. George, he said 'please', 'Please don't hurt me' and I swear he sounded like a frightened child. How could he think I would hurt him?"

George gathered his wife in his arms, "I don't think that he realized that it was you. I think that in his mind he was seeing the monster. The one who had hurt him so badly. In his heart he knows that you would never hurt him. He was just so confused.

I'm sorry this is my fault, I should have screened all the messages before we brought him home."

"George, he knows where we live, he knows who we are and he knows that Matt's here. What do you think he will do now?"

"There is a double watch the watch on our house and none of us can leave without an escort. Mrs. Martin, Vessna's teacher has outlined lessons and has made herself available to help us teach Vessna at home until we catch him."

"And what if you don't? What if he gets away? Do we live like prisoners in our own house? I'm not sure I can do that. I lived too much of my life as a slave to someone else's will. This just isn't fair George, it's just not fair!" she cried out against his shoulder.

It took him a little over an hour to get her calmed down, up the stairs and into bed. He was standing by the window watching her sleep when he realized that the bastard hadn't just assaulted Matt, he had raped his whole family. None of them would ever be the same again. He had never felt so alone in his life.

* * *

2:30 the clock glared out in bright green numbers. George had tossed and turned but hadn't been able to get to sleep. He couldn't turn his mind off, there were too many questions, too many fears. Finally he gave up, and pulling his pants on he headed for the stairs.

He felt stifled, he needed air and had to get out for a while. He couldn't go out for a drive, that would only make things difficult for the guys watching the house, so he opted for the patio in back.

He lowered himself into one of the lounge chairs and stared up at the stars. How neat the universe looked from here. 'Ordered chaos' he thought. From here he couldn't see the dust and debris he knew was up there. From here it looked clean and strangely peaceful. Ha! He laughed to himself, it's anything but peaceful.

There were worlds upon worlds bound in slavery, decimated by war and some scorched bare by their own ignorance and mistrust. He had no idea how this little blue world had remained hidden for so long escaping any one of those fates.

He glanced around until his eyes settled on a particular cluster of stars. Orion had been the first constellation he had gotten to know after their arrival, The humans had called him the hunter, but George liked to think of him as the defender. In his minds eye he could see the mighty warrior. Many nights he had looked up into the night sky trying to gather his thoughts and his old friend had always been there, but tonight even his presence didn't do much to calm him.

He had held onto his faith even in the toughest times. But his faith had started to fray around the edges, when they had taken Ruhtra for the game. He had prayed. He had prayed with everything that was in him but that didn't save his brother. When Matt had gone missing, he had prayed and he did get his friend back but not before he had been tortured and violated. He had begun to wonder if his faith was faith at all anymore or simply tradition. Then he thought of Lily and her quiet faith mixed with hope. She seemed to have no doubts.

He closed his eyes against the swirl of thoughts and willed his mind to drift trying to distance himself form the events of the day. He must have dozed because he swore he could feel soft arms come around him in a comforting embrace. And oddly enough he did feel comforted. 'I know I'm dreaming, but that's okay.' His mind fuzzily registered before he slipped into a deep sleep for the first time in weeks.

* * *

Matt was nervous as he waited in for his appointment with Dr. Wright. His hands were sweating and his heart was racing. 'Dammit! calm down before you hyperventilate.' He scolded himself. He wanted to get up and pace around the office, but he was still too week and unsure on his crutches.

Cathy sat only a few inches away and wanted desperately to reach out to him, but was afraid that he would pull away again. He was trying so hard, she could tell, but still, he was barley able tolerate anyone getting too close. It was different with Vessna though, Cathy smiled at the memory of finding the little girl snuggled up close to him that morning. Both were sound asleep as she lay in the crook of his arm, with Abigail held firmly under her own. Suddenly a lump came to her throat and her eyes began to mist over. She excused herself to the restroom to try to gain back a little composure before Matt could see how emotional she was becoming.

George watched his friend fidget and squirm in his seat as they sat in the waiting area of Marcie's office. Like Cathy, he wanted to reach out to Matt, to calm his fears, but he felt helpless not knowing what to do.

As he watched his friend, Matt's eyes came up to meet his. "George, I want you to go in with me." He nervously looked at his shaking hands, "It might help you catch the bastard if you're in the session. You might hear something…you know."

"Yes of course, but what about Cathy, don't you want her to go in with you?"

"NO!" he hadn't meant to shout, but Matt didn't want Cathy to know exactly what had happened to him. He knew that she had some idea, but he couldn't bare the pity he knew would be in her eyes every time she looked at him thereafter. "I just…" he closed his eyes not knowing how to say what he felt.

George seemed to understand and quickly tried to put Matt at ease, "It's alright Matthew. You're right, and I promise you that we will get him."

Just as Cathy came back into the waiting room, Marcie's secretary called for Matt. George stood to follow and Cathy looked up questioningly.

"He wants me there in case he remembers something that might help with the case." He patted her arm and went through the door behind Matt.

She felt hurt for a moment and then relieved, and then ashamed of her relief. She wanted to be there for him, but was afraid, more afraid than she wanted to admit. She wanted to know what happened, but now wasn't the time, maybe one day but not now.

Marcie welcomed Matt into her office and before she could question his actions he told her that he had asked George to come in with him for this session. "of course Matt, whatever will make you comfortable."

"I just thought that I might remember something…"

"and once said is enough?" she finished for him.

"Yeah something like that." He answered.

She sighed and smiled, "It's okay, come on in George. Now if you'll both have a seat." She motioned toward a sitting area consisting of two overstuffed chairs and a matching couch. George took one chair and Matt sat on the end of the couch nearest George, leaving the other chair for Marcie, "I guess I'm supposed to get the couch right?" he laughed shakily.

"No, not necessarily, if you'll be more comfortable here it's okay." She motioned toward the chair.

"I guess I'm alright here." he said as he turned to rest his bad leg up on the couch cushions, unconsciously turning away from George, and grabbed one of the large throw pillows hugging it tightly against his stomach.

"Fine, well lets get started shall we?" she sat and pulled her chair a little closer. "Okay, Matt your memories are coming back on their own, so I don't want to rush things, lets just take this slow and easy. Anytime you want to end the session we'll end it. You are in control here okay?"

He took a deep shaky breath and nodded. "How do we start this?" he asked only wanting to get the whole thing over with.

"Well we just talk. Tell me what do you remember about your abduction?" she asked sitting back in her chair and crossing her legs. Her skirt slid up her thigh just a little as he watched, and suddenly he could feel hands on his own thigh.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably and started "I remember someone touching me. hands roaming all over me" he swallowed and squeezed his eyes shut, "and that voice…he never stopped talking unless…" he turned his face away in revulsion mingled with shame as he remembered the other things that mouth would do and a shudder ran down his spine.

He was breathing heavily, his eyes still closed and his fists clinched into the pillow he hugged tightly to himself. Marcie reached out just barely touching his knee with her finger, "Matt calm down, lets go back a little okay? I know, lets go back to when you were first abducted and tell me what you remember."

Matt's eyes flew open and he jerked away from her, he held the pillow tighter and began to rock looking around the room as if looking for an escape route. Marcie leaned in closer, "Matt what's wrong? Talk to me."

He starred at her for a moment as if he had only seen her for the first time. And then in a voice much different than before he almost shouted, "NO! We don't go there!" he continued rocking but didn't take his eyes off her.

She was puzzled, "I'm sorry Matt, I don't understand. You'll have to explain this to me."

He only sneered at her, "You're as stupid as that other lady they made me talk to. I told her that we don't go there, we never go there. That door is locked so forget it!" he was still staring at her.

She was perplexed, it was if he had become a different person. He exhibited the reactions of an adolescent. He looked scared to death, but held himself rigid as he rocked back and forth, his face set in defiance. "Matt? You've talked to someone else? You said a lady? When did you talk to someone else?"

"They made me." He answered.

"Who are _they_?" she asked.

"The cops, who else?" he looked at her as if he thought her to be as stupid as he had earlier accused. "They told my mom that we couldn't go home until I talked to the nut doctor. So I talked to her. She wanted to lock us away somewhere, until I fed her some bullshit that finally made her happy. Man she was so stupid." He laughed.

A chill ran down her back, and she locked eyes with George for a moment, and registered the fear and confusion written across his face.

Suddenly it all made sense to her, and she knew why she was supposed to take this case, "Matt, how old are you?"

He held his chin up a little higher, "I'm old enough to know how to take care of myself, besides it's in the record. If you read it you know how old I am."

"Okay, smart guy, I understand that, and I know it's in the record, but I want you to tell me yourself." She spoke to him with all the authority she could muster, and waited for his response.

He stared at her for a moment and then he shrugged, "I'm eleven, Okay, happy now?" he asked her.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

The standard disclaimer holds for this chapter and all others following. Alien Nation does not belong to me, nor do the characters.

**Author's Note: **Please review and let me know how you feel about what's happening. I have never been to a psychologist nor do I know anyone who has but I like Dr. Wright if she's doing everything wrong blame me not her.

**Chapter 5**

George sat dazed, what was happening here? He tore his gaze from his friend and looked toward the doctor who surprisingly didn't seem to share his confusion.

Matt remained on his end of the couch clutching the pillow close to his stomach, he had stopped the nervous rocking, but his face was even more defiant.

Marcie seemed unfazed, "Matt if you don't want to go there then we won't…for now." She added as an afterthought.

"You look tired sweetie. I bet you didn't sleep very well last night did you?" She smiled sympathetically.

Matt didn't answer merely glaring at her.

She continued to talk to him in quiet soothing tones, not talking about anything in particular, but just talking. Soon his eyes were growing heavy and as George watched, his friend allowed himself to lean back into the corner of the couch. Matt never took his eyes off the doctor who continued her monologue.

George was frightened and fascinated at the same time. He watched as Matt finally closed his eyes. He had never seen anything like this before.

Even though Matt seemed to be sleeping, Marcie continued to talk to him, "Matt, I want you to sleep until I tell you to wake up, there's nothing to be afraid of. You're safe here, I promise you. George and I will make sure that nothing will hurt you. Do you understand?"

Matt slowly nodded his head.

Marcie smiled, "Good, now you sleep and I'll wake you up in a little while, okay?" he nodded again, and soon George could hear the deep steady rhythm of his breathing.

He cleared his throat, "Doctor Wright, I don't understand what just happened here."

She sighed heavily and tore her eyes away from Matt, "George, it was the question I asked him."

"I still don't understand, you asked him to try to remember his abduction, why would that cause this delusion?"

"It was an accidental choice of words George, I asked him to go back to when he was first abducted. He took it to mean the _**first**_ _**time**_ he was abducted." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "It's very possible that Matt was abducted when he was a child and more than likely sexually abused then as well. The experience was so traumatic that he hid the memory of the incident somewhere in the back of his mind. It seems that recent events have triggered some of those long dormant memories.

George remembered the voice from the tape, and his suspicions of a history between his friend and the monster looked more and more likely. But why did he wait almost 30 years?

George would never understand humans. Whenever he thought he had a grasp on human behavior, something would happen, leaving him as ignorant as he started. That's how he felt now, confused and ignorant.

Dr. wright must have been able to read his mind. She smiled sympathetically and patted his knee. "I don't know George. I'm as much in the dark as you. Sometimes I feel that the more I learn of the human mind the more I realize that I really haven't learned much of anything at all. There is so much about the human psyche that none of us will ever really understand. One thing I do know is that Matthew is truly a very special person. He's a fighter, and right now that's the best thing he has going for him."

"George I need to know what happened to him in the past, has he ever said anything to you?"

"No doctor, I only know that he grew up without his father, and that for a short time he left his mother to live with an uncle, other than that, he's never really talked about his childhood."

"If I'm right and he had been abducted and abused…" she bit her bottom lip "but the records are probably still sealed…I guess I could get a court order but that could take time." Her voice softened as she watched her sleeping patient.

"Dr. Wright, I think you need to hear something."

"What is it George? Do you know something after all?" she asked hopefully.

"As you know, his abductor called my house and left a very disturbing message. He alluded to the possibility that he and Matt had a past. Could it be that he's come back to finish what he had started almost thirty years ago?"

"I need to hear that message, please!"

George took the tape from his pocket and handed it to her. She motioned for him to follow her into another room where she immediately inserted the tape into her own answering machine and pushed the play button.

Marcie felt cold fingers slide up her spine as she listened to the voice. The man was clearly a lunatic, obsessive and possessive, a very dangerous combination. "George, I believe you're right, and I know what I have to do. I have to help Matt the little boy before I can begin to help Matt the adult. I'm afraid we're in for a bumpy ride, are you up to it?"

"Anything for Matthew Doctor. I love him. he's family and whatever it takes to help him I'm willing to try."

Marcie smiled and squeezed his shoulder, "I know George, Matt is a very lucky man. Not everyone is blessed with a true family. Together, all of us, we're going to pull him through this…we won't let that monster win."

* * *

The ride home was quiet, Cathy knew nothing of what had happened during the session and Matt wanted to keep it that way.

He was embarrassed, how could he have let something like this happen? Not only had he fallen asleep as soon as he had landed on the good doctor's couch, but he had slept the whole hour away. His first visit wasted, and although Marcie had told him not to worry and that he wasn't the first to do so, he couldn't help feeling frustrated. He had to admit though that he felt better and more rested than he had since he had come home from the hospital. His mind seemed to be less fuzzy.

Cathy was wise enough not to push him for answers, so she merely sat next to him in the back seat holding onto his hand and offering what support she could.

Matt felt guilty, Cathy deserved so much better. He loved her desperately, and wanted to get back to where they had been. He wanted to be able to make love to her again, but how could he do that when it took every bit of strength he had just to allow her to touch him in that way without going into a full blown panic? What was wrong with him anyway? She had been his salvation, his lifeline while he had been recovering in the hospital, but now…

Dark thoughts began to cloud his mind again. "I should have died. She would be so much better off, they all would." He thought to himself. He closed his eyes and lay his head back against the seat. He squeezed Cathy's hand and tried not to flinch when she kissed his cheek. He squeezed her hand again and pretended to sleep willing down the nausea that was threatening.

Cathy swallowed the lump in her own throat, knowing that he wasn't asleep, knowing how hard it was for him to allow her to hold on to him. She too wanted what they had had before, but had no idea what to do to get it back. Dr. Wright had told her to be patient, and Cathy knew all about patient, she had had plenty of practice with patience. She was an authority on patience by now. Her whole life had been a lesson in patience. If she had to out wait the devil himself she could. She would not loose Matt, she would never give up on him or let him give up on himself.

They would work this out together. They could face anything together.

* * *

Matt watched George's face as they sat outside in the back yard later that evening. The ladies of the house had chosen a chick flick to watch and were curled up in the living room with a box of Kleenex. "George, what's up? You as disappointed as I am about the wasted session?" he laughed a little nervously.

George only smiled sadly, not refuting the convenient excuse. "Don't keep worrying about it Matt, you needed the sleep, and Dr. Wright and I had a chance to talk. I got a session on your dollar as they say."

"Well, at least it wasn't a wasted dollar"

George didn't quite meet his eyes, "Oh no not wasted at all, it gave me some things to think about."

"Look George, I know that this has really been hard on all of you, and I don't know what I would have done without you. But I feel like…I really should be going back home soon…"

"No!" this caught Matt off guard, and George quickly forced himself to calm down. "Please my friend just a little longer, at least until…"

"George, I can't stay here forever, I know that this is really putting a strain on your whole family…I mean, Vessna can't even go to school anymore and how long can Susan stay away from her job?"

George was quiet for a moment, "Matthew, you're right of course, all our lives have been turned upside down by this but it's not your fault my friend. You are a member of this family so anything that happens to you happens to us as well. Do you really think we could let you go through something like this without the rest of us?" not waiting for Matt's answer he plunged ahead "You've been a member of this family since the day you stood against that angry mob in Emily's defense all those years ago." He leaned forward and gently squeezed Matt's shoulders "You are one of us my friend, and family stands by family, we face this together."

George's voice softened, "I know that you must feel as if you've lost all control of your life, but please don't go, not yet. Please give me some time to find this man. Like I said before, when he hurt you, he hurt the rest of us as well. I don't want him to try again, please. Will you give it a little more time?"

Matt knew George was right, as usual. As much as he wanted to go home he knew that nothing would be the same. "Okay George okay, whatever you say." He guiltily began to study his hands "I just want for this to be over. I want my old life back." George watched Matt as he balled his hands into fists to stop the tremors that had begun. "What if he…If Cathy…and I couldn't do anything…just the thought that he might hurt her…" he was fighting hard trying not to fall apart, and before he realized what was happening George was there pulling him up out of his chair and into a strong embrace. At first he stiffened trying to recoil from the unexpected contact, but soon found himself relaxing in the safety of his friend's arms. And then, to his utter embarrassment he began to sob uncontrollably against the proffered shoulder but taking great comfort in the feel of George's hand cradling the nape of his neck, just letting him cry out his frustrations and fears.

After he had exhausted himself he pushed himself away and covered his face with his hands "Oh God!" he croaked "I hate this! I hate being so week! And I hate being so messed up! Hell, I haven't felt like this since I was a kid."

This caught George's attention and he thought he might try a gentle poke at Matt's recollections, "Matt, did something happen to you as a child?"

Matt's eyes looked haunted as he sat back down before his legs could give out on him. "I don't really know for sure…something happened that put me in the hospital." He wrinkled his forehead trying to remember, its like that whole year is kind of a blur, you know? My mom never wanted to talk about it when I asked her. She always said that it would all come back to me when I was better, or older. I think it was my fault somehow. I must have done something wrong."

"Matthew my friend, why would you think such a thing?" George prodded.

"You see me and Davie Peterson sorta ran together you know, best buds and all that?" Matt looked far away for a moment.

"How old were you?"

"I was eleven and pretty full of myself." he said with a shrug of his shoulders. "We thought we were big stuff. We lived and breathed baseball and we were going to the playoffs. It should have been a great summer…" He paused for a moment struggling to remember. "I don't know George, whatever happened to put me in the hospital…well anyway, it killed Davie."

George noticed his friend's hands were once again balled into fists to keep them from shaking. "You don't remember anything at all?" he said as he pulled his lounge chair closer and reached out to put a comforting hand on Matt's leg.

Matt shook his head sadly, "Every time I try, it's like there's this big door in the way. A locked door that I can't open." He chuckled sarcastically, "I can only guess that we did something stupid trying to show off. My Mom never wanted to talk about it. Sometimes I think I would like to know, but then sometimes it scares me to death. I have this feeling that it's all my fault somehow." he nervously bit at his lip and began rubbing his sweaty palms up and down his thighs.

"Matthew, why have you never mentioned this before? That's a lot of guilt to carry around for nearly thirty years."

"I guess I was able to put it out of my mind. Honestly, I haven't thought about Davie in a long time."

"Why don't you talk to Dr. Wright? Tell her what you told me. Maybe if you can remember what happened back then, you'll be able to remember what happened this time."

Matt jerked away so fast he almost pulled George out of his seat. He was standing, his panicked breathing making his chest heave.

George reached out taking hold of his wrist. "Matt, what's wrong?" Calm down, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Alright? Please my friend, talk to me." George knew that he was in way over his head and felt like kicking himself for pushing his friend so far.

Matt tried to twist his wrist out of the other's grasp but he just wasn't strong enough. Again George noticed that Matt was almost childlike in his terror, and he knew he was looking into the face of his friend as he was as a child. This was no longer Matthew his partner, but Matt the little boy, and he was desperately trying to protect himself from a memory too horrible to imagine.

Suddenly George sensed someone behind him and a light gentle touch on his shoulder. He turned still clutching Matt's wrist, and found himself face to face with Lilly, the nurse from the hospital. His surprise registered on his face as he blurted out "What are _you_ doing here?"

She smiled kindly "Nice to see you too George."

"I…I…didn't mean…" he found himself babbling and shook his head trying to clear his thoughts "Lily, what _are_ you doing here?" She only inclined her head toward Matt her eyes softening.

"How…? How did you know?" his confusion turned into anxiety with Matt's growing panic. "It doesn't really matter, please see if you can help him."

Matt's eyes seemed to clear for a moment and in a tentative voice, "Lilly?"

"Yes baby, it's me."

Matt's legs seemed to buckle beneath him and he collapsed to sit Indian style on the soft grass pulling Lilly down with him.

She sat down gracefully as if this was something she did every day, and maybe it was for all George knew. He had already given up trying to make sense out of anything.

"It's ok baby, I know, but George is right, you can't bury those bad memories. You have to face them. If you keep pretending that it never happened the hurt will only grow stronger." Her voice was gentle but held authority.

"But, it's all because of me." Matt sobbed doubling over touching his forehead to his knee.

"No baby, none of that was your fault. _**He**_ did the hurting not you." She gently stoked his hair.

"He told me it was my fault, because I wouldn't do what he wanted." His voice sounded so small, so sad.

Lily spoke slowly "He told you lies. You were only a child you had no power. He did what he wanted to do, none of what happened was your fault."

George could only stand and watch the scene before him. Had Lily known Matt all those years ago? If so why hadn't she said something earlier, why hadn't she come forward with what she knew?"

Lily was still crooning softly, "Sweetheart, you know what you need to do."

"No! Please don't make me." Matt pleaded.

"If you won't talk to the doctor, then talk to George. You know him, you trust him, you know he will never hurt you."

"He'll hate me, everyone will hate me." his voice now dead almost expressionless.

Suddenly George found himself sitting on the grass also, reaching out to his friend, "No Matthew, I love you. I could never hate you no matter what you've done or think you've done. Please my friend, the only thing I hate is seeing you in so much pain. Trust me, please."

"I don't know how, it's been locked away for so long…I'm afraid…"

"I know but like Lily said, keeping it locked away won't make it get any better." George placed his hands on Matt's shoulders and looked deep into his eyes "Do you see now that you do need to get everything out in the open? If you don't it will destroy you my friend and I don't want to lose you." Matt only nodded not breaking eye contact "Will you let me call Dr. Wright?" he felt Matt stiffen under his hands "she will be able to help you unlock those memories better than I. I promise, you won't have to face them alone. I will be with you as long as you need me. Do you remember when I had memories locked away, terrible memories locked away?" Matt gave an almost imperceptible nod "I thought I was losing my mind but Dr. Wright convinced me to open my mind. I will be truthful with you, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done but I'm so glad that I did. Just knowing the truth relieved a burden I'd carried around for years. She helped me Matthew, please let her help you."

Time seemed to slow down while George waited for Matt to answer, but finally he nodded his head again his eyes glistening with unshed tears, but George saw past the tears and the fear and glimpsed the underlying strength and determination he knew Matt possessed deep down.

George squeezed his shoulders and quickly turned to Lily, "Come on let's go in, I want to call Dr. Wright now"

* * *

"Marcie replayed the call from George in her head as she drove the short distance to the Francisco house. He hadn't asked her to come tonight, he had only told her that Matt needed to talk to her, but something in his voice moved her to get there as soon as possible. If Matt needed to talk she wanted to get there before he could change his mind.

She forced herself to walk at a normal pace up to the front door, but noticed her hand shaking as she reached for the doorbell. "Get yourself together old girl." She admonished herself.

Susan answered the door and drew her into the living room, where she found Matt sitting at one end of the couch. He was bent over at the waist head down, arms tightly hugging himself. He looked up with a mixture of relief and fear flitting across his face.

Her face softened and she smiled. Slowly she made her way over to where Matt sat, never breaking eye contact with him. She could see that he was trembling, but in spite of his fear and nervousness he grinned back at her.

"So, I heard you wanted to talk?" she sat down next to him on the couch, placing a hand over both of his.

"No Marcie, I have to. I have to know what's locked away in this thick skull of mine. I need to get on with my life." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly "Can we just get on with this?"

She patted his leg and nodded, "Sure Matt, but first tell me how you feel. Do you need something to help you relax?"

"No please no more pills. Let's just do this okay? Where do you want me?"

She began to rub his back in comforting circles feeling the tension in every muscle "Right here is fine, but wherever you feel you'll be more comfortable is okay." She looked around at the family gathered for support in the living room "Would you feel more comfortable if we moved to somewhere more private?." He thought for a moment then shaking his head he said "No, I want them here, they're my family." He seemed to reconsider for a moment and added, "Susan…" he trailed off his eyes landing on Vessna.

She gave him a watery smile and answered his unspoken request "I think you're right Matt, I think Vessna and I have some laundry to fold upstairs." She took the little girl's hand and started for the stairs, but Vessna pulled away and ran to Matt.

She merely stood in front of him for a moment and then flung herself into his arms hugging him tightly. "Matt, do you think you might need Abigail to stay with you? She will make you feel safe, she's good at that."

Matt couldn't speak for a moment as he hugged her back, "That would be great Sweet Pea, thanks." and he accepted the little grey elephant from his goddaughter.

Vessna took a deep breath, turned and followed her mother up the stairs.

Matt took a deep breath as well, clutching Abigail tightly against to his chest and he willed himself to calm down.

Marcie began to talk letting the cadence of her voice take on a rhythm that seemed to lull him into a more relaxed state. First they worked on his breathing going through several calming exercises and finally when she thought he was ready she asked her first real question. "Alright Matt, we're going to go back to that year you can't remember, but I want you to know that you are in charge. We can stop this anytime you say. We don't have to do this all in one night. Okay?" he was no longer sitting on the edge of the couch, but had moved to lean back into the corner with his eyes closed and still clutching Abigail tightly to him. He only nodded to her question. "Okay Matt, tell me what you remember." She still sat beside him with her hand on his knee.

"No! Don't make us go there! He can't get in without me and I won't let him!" he jerked away

Marcie felt her stomach drop again, this whole case had been one big rollercoaster ride "Matt, please?"

"I told you that we don't go there! I told you that that door was locked, but you just have to make him remember don't you!" he almost screamed. "What is it with you and locked doors anyways?"

"Matt, please calm down. I'm not trying hurt you. These memories have got to come out, they have to be delt with. It's the only way to heal. Cant you see that?" she tried to console.

"Bullshit! You're trying to kill us! We were doing just fine until you came along!" Matt's breathing was becoming labored and he was scrabbling backward trying to get away from the doctor, his eyes searching for a way of escape.

Cathy had never been so frightened. It was if another soul now possessed the body of her husband. She swallowed and tore her gaze away, locking her eyes with George's she found the same fear mirrored there.

Marcie tried again, "Matt! You were not doing just fine. I know you were trying to protect him. I know that what happened hurt, I know that it was more than he could deal with so you locked it all away behind a strong door so he wouldn't have to face it. You've guarded that door all this time keeping the bad things safely hidden away, but you can't go on doing that." She had moved closer and reached a tentative hand toward his shoulder"

Matt was shaking from head to foot. "But I'll die" he said in a small soft voice.

Cathy felt her throat tighten. She wanted to run to him, to throw her arms around him and hold on tightly, but George seeming to read her mind shook his head squeezing her hand.

Marcie bowed her head for a minute "Matt you won't die, neither one of you. You'll just become a part of one another. Don't you see, you've always been a part of one another? Aren't you tired of guarding that door? Aren't you tired of being afraid that the bad stuff will get out? Wouldn't you like to just move on and leave it in the past?"

"But it was all my fault." He seemed so small, so vulnerable.

"Oh Matt, none of this could have been your fault."

"But he said that it was…he said it was because of me."

"Listen to me, he was a bad man. If he didn't mind hurting you, don't you think he wouldn't mind lying to you as well?"

"Will it hurt?" he asked as a large tear coursed down his cheek.

"Oh Sweetheart, no, believe me when I tell you that the worst is over. Just let it go okay? Open that door and let it all out, I promise you I'll be right here with you and so will George and Cathy."

Matt looked over to his friend and wife as if he hadn't known they were there before, and then locked eyes with Marcy again. He nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Good Sweetheart, now tell me what you remember."

Matt sighed deeply still reluctant but resigned "I remember me and Davie runnin across a vacant lot to get to the ball field. We were racing to see who could get there first. I got a stitch in my side and had to stop. We were making plans for after the game. I was going to spend the night at Davie's. Then this guy we've seen hanging around shows up."

"You've seen him before?" she asked.

"Yeah he comes by and talks to the older boys, and sometimes he gives one of em a ride in his car. Man! It's so cool. I really wanted to take a ride."

"What kind of car was it?" she smiled at his interest in the car.

"A silver Jag convertible, with black leather seats. Man, what a cool ride. It had to be a custom job."

"He asked us if we wanted to ride. Like I said I would have given anything to ride in that car, but Davie didn't trust him. I told him to wait for me then but he couldn't let me go without him. The guy stopped at The Burger Hut and bought us a coke…" Matt frowned and started to breathe faster.

Cathy and George were sitting across the room watching. When Matt began to panic, again George reached out to hold Cathy's hand giving a gentle squeeze.

"Okay Matt calm down, they are only memories they have no power to hurt you. Do you want to rest a minute?"

He shook his head "Can't" he took several deep slow breaths and picked up where he had left off. "I remember that my head hurt and the next thing I remember is being tied up in a fancy house somewhere. There was like these velvet curtains on the windows and thick carpet on the floor, but there wasn't any furniture. I was alone in the room and I was scared, I was so scared, and…and…I wasn't wearing any cloths." Matt began to rock almost squeezing the stuffing out of Abigail. Marcie let him rock for a moment gently rubbing his leg, just letting him know that he wasn't alone.

"It's okay, Matt it's okay. We're here with you and we're going to stay with you."

"I know, it's just so hard." He was trying to control his breathing again. "I didn't know where Davie was, I didn't know if the man hurt him or what happened to him, or what was gonna happen to me, but I could guess." Matt's voice seemed to get higher in pitch and his features were changing slightly. Marcie could see that he was becoming the boy again. "I aint stupid you know, I heard the other guys talking about what happens to runaways or lost kids. I don't want that to happen to me. Why can't my dad be here?" he angrily wiped the back of a hand across his eyes "I hate him for not bein here!"

Cathy was crying now and George put his arm around her pulling her close.

"Matt can you tell me what happened next?" Marcie urged him to move on.

"He's coming in the room now and he's dragging Davie in under his arm. Davie looks bad, He's crying and there's blood all over…the man took Davie's cloths too. He won't talk to me he only makes these sounds like he's hurt or something, and I'm so scared…cause I know I'm next." Matt was trembling from head to foot as he sat back further into the corner of the couch trying to bury himself in the cushions. He drew his good leg up pulling his knee up as close as he could.

"Okay, take your time. Catch your breath. Take all the time you need." she crooned rubbing his arm.

"I hate him!" Matt almost spat. "He's making me mad, he's talking about how pretty I am and I tell him I aint pretty I'm a boy, and he laughs and says that I have spirit, he likes that. I tell him I don't give a rat's ass what he likes and he hits me. Hard. I don't care. I just know that I aint gonna make it easy for him."

George caught Marcie's attention and held up a piece of paper on which he had written a question. She nodded "Matt, can you tell me anything about the man? What he looks like, what he sounds like, or how old he might be?"

"Yeah, he's kinda young, not as old as my dad. He's got this real blond hair almost white, and real light blue eyes, and he talks funny like he's from somewhere else. Kinda like Colonel Clink, you know?"

"Do you know if anyone else might be nearby or are you alone in the house with him?"

"I don't think anybody else is around least ways I haven't seen or heard anybody. Just me and Davie right now. Except maybe his girlfriend, I hear her crying in the next room sometimes."

Marcie felt her heart drop. "Is she a grown up or is she more your age?"

"She's older than me, but I don't know how old she is." Matt was still clutching the little elephant to his chest, hiding behind his knee.

"You never heard him call her by name?"

Matt looked at her as if she were a total idiot "How the hell should I know who she is?" and he let loose with a long string of expletives that almost singed her ears.

She reacted without thinking shaking her finger in his face, "Now listen to me young man, I assume your mother doesn't allow such language, and neither will I! Do you understand me?" she was appalled by her reaction. What if he shut down again refusing to talk at all?"

He ducked his head and nodded, "Yes ma'am."

With a huge sigh of relief, because she really thought she had messed up, she urged him to go on "Good, now what's happening?"

"I think Davie's dead. He's not moving anymore and he got real quiet, I can't hear him breathing anymore either. That man came in and took him away…yeah I think he's dead." He was rocking again.

"What about the girlfriend?"

"I don't know maybe she's dead too."

"He comes in every morning and gives me something to eat and some water, and he laughs at me if I try to fight him. He says he really likes my spirit. He doesn't tie me up anymore thought, I almost got away once but he hit me so hard I didn't wake up until the next morning." He rubbed at his temple absentmindedly and Cathy covered her mouth with her hand to stop the sob that almost escaped. "The bastard stomped on my ankle and I think he broke it."

"He touches me…I don't like the way he touches me. It makes me feel creepy. I bit him once and he hit me hard again, I wanted to cry but I didn't want him to see. It hurt too bad to cry anyways. He just stood there lookin at me and he laughs again, like he's havin a real good time. He kissed me on top of my head and left." Matt shivered in revulsion.

"I don't eat that much cause my jaw doesn't work right and it hurts all the time…and I think I'm gonna die too."

"He told me that he took Davie home, lying bastard. How stupid does he think I am anyways?"

"I don't like bein by myself, it's scary, so Lily comes to sit with me, she comes every day now."

George felt his head spin and his hearts slam into one another. Lily! Was she in that place at that time? Why didn't she say anything why didn't she come forward? And where was Lily anyway? She had helped him to get Matt into the house and then everything had moved so fast that he had forgotten about her. George felt as if all the air was being sucked out of the room. "Lily was there?" it was almost a squeak.

"Yeah, every day now." Matt was quiet almost lethargic, as if he were weak from a long illness.

Marcie looked over at George with concern clouding her eyes "Matt who is Lily?"

"She's somebody I made up, at least that what that doctor told my mom."

"When did she first show up? Was she there the whole time?"

"No, only after Davie was gone. She told me that she was sent to keep me company."

"The man who held you, did he send her?"

"No, he can't see her. Sometimes when he's touching me and I get really scared, she just shows up and sits by me holding my hand or whispers in my ear, and he never sees her. When she's there I can hide from him, from what he's doing, it's like I'm somewhere far away…Lily stays with me all the time now so I think I'm gonna die soon. That's why she's here."

"Did she tell you that you would die soon?" Marcie had felt compelled to ask.

"No, she said that she didn't know, but I think so."

The good doctor didn't know what to say, but Matt was finished. "I'm tired now. I want to go to sleep. I don't want to talk anymore. I just want to go to sleep." And with that he allowed himself to scoot down and curl up on his side, his back to the room. Still holding Abigail tightly to his chest, he was fast asleep.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

The standard disclaimer holds. Alien Nation does not belong to me, nor do the characters.

**Author's Note: **Finally after all this time I am happy to say that I kept my promise and did bring this story to and end. As stated at the beginning of the first chapter there has been a major overhaul of this story so it probably wouldn't hurt to go back and reread the other chapters.

**Chapter 6**

Dr. Thomas Russell had been a successful plastic surgeon in Los Angelus until he became involved with medical missions in Central America. Finding his calling in life he began to split his time between his LA practice and the mission work that meant so much to him.

Kirby had been Dr. Russell's right hand for the last four years overseeing the mission and keeping everything running on an even keel. Buck's call had been transferred to the good doctor who had been trying to track her down ever since. Kirby always seemed to forget the portable GPS or the satellite phone she was supposed to carry with her when she visited outlying villages. She usually hiked in carrying in everything she needed in a pack on her back and to her medicine seemed much more important.

At first the doctor tried spotting her from the air but the jungle was much too thick. So he hiked out after her sending runners in several different directions. He finally found her in a settlement of loggers overwhelmed by cholera. In the end it had taken him over a month to get her on a plane for the states.

The first rays of the sun were making their way over the horizon and Buck and Jason were just finishing the graveyard shift. That's when Buck got the call that Kirby was at the airport.

He saw her standing just outside the main entrance a lone duffle bag, her only luggage, slung over her shoulder. She was pale and almost waiflike with large frightened eyes smudged underneath from lack of sleep. It had been a hard trip, bone weary and scared to death she had pushed herself to get to her Dad as soon as she could.

Buck smiled and gave her a quick hug. "He's going to be okay Kirby." He smiled again trying to still her fears.

She nodded returning his smile, "I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. I came as quickly as I could. Dr. Russell flew in himself ..." While she took a breath Buck quickly tried to set her at ease, "Its okay Kirby. I spoke with Dr. Russell and he told me that he was trying to find you. He said that you were out in the wilderness somewhere, I'm just glad he found you."

Buck took a long look at her. "You look ready to drop. When was the last time you had anything to eat?" she raked long slender fingers through her bobbed hair. "I don't know, I think I ate some crackers yesterday." He took her duffle bag and led her to his car. "Come on, let me get you some breakfast, and maybe you'd like to stop by my place for a quick shower before you go see your dad?" she smiled appreciatively "Oh God yes!!! Hot running water! I can't remember when I've been able to take a hot shower."

Buck laughed, "Okay, which one do you want first? Food or shower?"

She scrunched her face up, "Um…can we do drive through on our way to the shower?" he laughed again, "Sure come on."

**

* * *

**

Matt woke that morning feeling drained. There were still gaping holes in his memory but it was coming back. It was like gluing the splinters of a shattered plate back together but he knew that even if he didn't have all the pieces he had enough. He would probably bear the scars for the rest of his life, but he was going to be alright. He knew that now.

He maneuvered himself around and sat on the edge of the bed weariness dragging at him. He glanced around searching for his brace and caught sight of a little grey velour elephant sitting on guard duty in the chair near the bed. He picked her up and looked in her little black button eyes, "Abigail, thank you for keeping the monsters away." He said playing with her soft trunk a sad smile pulling at his lips.

He found his brace, strapped it on over his sweats, grabbed a crutch and hobbled to the bathroom to take care of business.

The first order of business taken care of he pulled himself over to the sink. He brushed his teeth and grabbed for his electric razor. He had grown quite adept at taking care of this morning routine without the need of a mirror but this morning he knew he had to as it were "face himself". He had to face this fear as well. He stood clutching the sides of the sink his breathing ragged and his good leg threatening to buckle. He had no idea how long he stood fighting that internal battle but finally he slowly brought his eyes up to lock on the face in the mirror. He took a long deep breath and let it out just a slowly. He stood for a long time just staring at the face he saw there. The face wasn't so alien anymore, he could see himself again. He looked older maybe a little sad "Ok, you don't look so bad." He told his reflection and began to smile a little awkwardly "I think you're gonna be ok, old man. Yeah we're gonna come back from this."

By 7:00 a.m. he had shaved, showered and dressed himself and was slowly making his way down the stairs clutching Abigail under his arm.

George stood in the shadows just out of sight watching his descent. There was a definite change in his friend. He was still spirit wounded but he was no longer lost.

"Good morning George I thought you'd be up." He grinned his old Matt grin.

"Good morning my friend, how pleasant it is to see you looking so like…you." George met him at the bottom of the stairs and gripped his shoulders with affection.

Matt laughed "Not just yet but I'm getting there. Thanks to you, and Cathy and…everybody really. I don't know what to say."

"Oh Matthew, there is nothing to say. We love you. You belong to us. As I've said before, you're family." George answered with shining eyes.

Matt's eyes were misting a little as well, "Who would have thought it all those years ago, huh?"

George smiled nodding slightly, "Yes my friend, who would have thought it."

**

* * *

**

Kirby had rested very little on the plane and taut nerves hadn't let her relax since she had gotten the news about her father. She needed to see him first. There was no way she could rest until she had seen him for herself.

She knew that his injuries must have been very serious or George would never have sent for her.

Buck had been a Godsend. He had been a quiet presence while she ate not forcing her to participate in small talk. He had ushered her into his new apartment and pointed her in the right direction for the bathroom.

Thirty minutes later Buck tapped on the bathroom door "Kirby? Is everything alright in there?" no answer. He turned the handle and finding it unlocked pushed it open a crack "Kirby? You need anything?" still no answer so he opened the door wider and found her wrapped in a bath sheet with a towel wrapped around her head, sitting on the toilet seat sound asleep.

"Kirby?" he gently nudged her on the shoulder. She jerked awake almost falling off her perch. "Oh, I can't believe I did that!" she covered her face embarrassed.

"Don't worry, why don't you crash here for a while. Rest up and maybe eat again before you go see your dad?" As much as she would have loved to she couldn't she had to see her dad. She knew she would never be able to rest until she could see him with her own eyes.

"Oh, Buck I'd love to but I need to see him. For my own peace of mind you know? But first I want you to tell me what happened to him ok? I know that he might not want me to worry but I need to know, so don't leave anything out."

He sighed but nodded in understanding. "Okay, I guess I'd feel the same way if it were my dad, but Kirby this isn't going to be easy."

She nodded "I knew it had to be bad for your dad to have sent for me. Come on Buck let me have it."

"Okay, get dressed and we'll have a talk."

And they did just that. Kirby listened while Buck told her the truth, all of it, and then he held her while she cried.

**

* * *

**

George answered the phone relieved to be able to push the report he had been reading to the side for a moment. "Hi Dad, good morning," he smiled upon hearing the familiar voice, "Good morning yourself, I am doing very well thank you. Matt seems to have his old spark back. He made it downstairs on his own and…I don't know how to explain it…he seemed…not so lost" he finished.

"I'm glad, after what you told me about last night I didn't know how he would feel today."

George had had the same doubts "I know, I wondered about that myself but it seems that in confronting everything he's been through he's been able to, using his own words 'begin to fit in the missing pieces'. He still has a lot to process but I really think he's on his way back to us."

"That's great, but how will he feel about seeing Kirby right now?" Buck asked.

"Kirby? Have you heard from her?"

"Yeah, I picked her up at the airport this morning. She was dead on her feet so I took her to my place to rest for a while before taking her to meet Matt."

George smiled sadly "That was very wise, it won't be easy for her to see him like he is now, even though he's so much better than he was when we brought him home."

Buck cleared his voice "Um…Dad? She wanted me to tell her everything that's happened…so I did. I don't know if it was the right thing to do, but I would have wanted to know had it been you."

George was quiet for a long moment and just when Buck thought that maybe he'd lost the connection George asked, "How did she take it?"

"She was upset. She cried herself to sleep but I really think she deserved to know. As soon as she wakes up she's going to want to go see him. Do you think he's up to it?"

George took a moment before answering "Yes I do." He remembered his friend from earlier that morning, "Yes Buck I think he'll be fine. Just when I think I know him he surprises me. He's so much stronger than I would have ever thought when we first met." He smiled. "Yes, he will be fine."

**

* * *

**

Matt sat in the kitchen nursing his cup of coffee. Cathy, Susan and Vessna were all upstairs seeming to know that he needed the space to think. He was grateful for their understanding.

There was a part of him that wanted to go after the bastard who had turned his world upside down, but another part knew that doing that would be a big mistake. Going after the guy feeling the way he did right now, he would probably just kill the scum ball and get himself or maybe even George killed in the process. And he had to be honest with himself, he was in no condition to play vigilante. Physically he was still looking at weeks of rehab and only God himself knew about his mental condition.

Matt decided to give up on the coffee and move to the living room. He had made it to the doorway when he heard something. Looking up he noticed Vessna sneaking down the stairs. He couldn't help but smile as he watched her make her way down on tip toes stopping every now and then to look behind her, making sure no one saw her.

Matt quickly as his crutch would let him moved back into the kitchen and once again took up his spot at the table. Vessna still on tiptoes found him there and whispered "Matt? Can I come in?"

"Hi Sweat Pea! Of course, what's up?" he asked

"Mama says that I don't need to be bothering you." She seemed a little hesitant.

"Now how could you ever bother me?" he asked with a grin.

"I know, that's what I said" she came around to sit in the chair beside him moving it up against his so that she could snuggle against his side. "I've missed you Matt."

"Me too" he added as he pulled her snugly up under his arm. "Thanks by the way for sending Abigail to look after me. You were right she's very good at keeping the monsters away."

She nodded "I know, she's had a lot of practice." She replied reaching for the little elephant that had been sitting next to Matt's coffee cup.

"You know I really think she's ready to go back to your room now. She's done a good job but now she needs to be with you." He told her in all seriousness.

Vessna nodded again "Alright, I was beginning to miss her a little bit."

He smiled hugging her closer, weariness seemed to wash over him like a wave and suddenly all he wanted to do was lie down. "Hey Sweet Pea, why don't we go upstairs. Your old Uncle Matt needs a nap I think."

"Okay, do you need for Abigail to stay with you?" she asked a little guarded.

"Nope, but I'd appreciate it if you'd go ask Cathy to come see me for a minute."

"Okay and she scampered up the stairs with an agility that he envied.

Matt was becoming an old hand at navigating the stairs with his crutches or even just the single crutch he now preferred. That being said, he was still exhausted by the time he got to the top.

"Matt! Why didn't you wait for me? I would have helped you." Cathy scolded as she took his arm and helped him to the bedroom.

"Yes ma'am" he teased not even trying to pull away as he might have done only a day ago. This surprised her. Not knowing what to expect next she settled him on the side of the bed and knelt there to remove his shoes.

"Cathy?" he rubbed the palm of his hand lightly over the spots on the back of her bowed head causing her to shiver. She looked up at him her surprise written across her face.

"Please, stay with me for a while?" he had moved his hand to gently touch his knuckles to her temple. He looked almost afraid that she might refuse.

"Of course Matt." And she reached to pull the chair over closer to the bed.

"No Cathy, here." He patted the space on the bed next to him.

"Okay" she came around to the other side and made herself comfortable. Matt turned on his side facing her and began to stroke her face with his fingertips. "I've missed you." His voice was low and very sad.

This was something new. She didn't know how to react. So she decided to do what came naturally, she drew her arms around him bringing his head down to pillow on her chest and with a sigh he snuggled closer bringing his arm up to wrap around her, almost as Vessna had done to him downstairs. "I'm so sorry Cathy. I'm sorry I pushed you away."

"I understand" she started to say but he cut her off "I know, but I'm sorry anyway."

Her throat was clogging with emotion but she tried to make her voice sound as natural as possible "Matt? George called a few minutes ago. He said that Kirby's plane got in this morning and that she wants to come over. She wants to see you. Buck met her at the airport and took her to his place to freshen up but she was so exhausted she fell asleep. Matt? How do you feel about her coming to visit?" She felt him tense in her arms and only held him closer. "Does she know?" he asked in a small voice "Yes, Buck told her everything. She deserved to know sweetheart, she loves you." Matt sighed tiredly relaxing in her arms, "I guess it's kind of a relief that she knows. I don't think I could ever tell her my self."

He was quiet for a long time and then "Cathy? You do know that I love you, don't you?" not giving her a chance to answer he went on "I would be dead right now if not for you."

"Shhh, go to sleep now." She whispered protectively.

"You'll stay?" he asked hopefully. She nodded almost unable to speak. "Yes Matt, I promise, I'm not going anywhere." She held him close kissing the top of his head. "And I'll be her when you wake up." She finished but the rhythm of his breathing told her that he hadn't heard her he was already fast asleep.

**

* * *

**

George had gone to the hospital looking for Lily. All he found were blank stares. It seemed that there had never been a nurse named Lily stationed on the ICU ward. No one knew anything about her. George had tried to describe her but again he only met with blank stares. They had all thought him insane. Anger and frustration sent him flying off the elevator on the ground floor to rush in the wrong direction. He didn't realize his mistake until he looked up to see that he was facing the entrance to the little chapel. Needing a quiet place to pull himself together and get his emotions under control he went in only to find that he was not alone. Lily stood toward the front by the alter as if she had been waiting for him. She held up a hand before he could say anything "I know George, you have many questions. I'll try to answer as much as I can but first you need to quiet your spirit." She motioned to one of the benches "Sit George, and calm yourself."

George did as he was told and sat. He worked on his breathing and tried to calm his mind. After a few minutes he asked his first question "Lily who are you and why does everyone around here act as if they'd never heard of you? Everyone I've talked to seems not to know anything about you. Yet I've seen you interacting with almost everyone on the ICU ward every day Matt was here." she sat down beside him and taking his hand she answered him truthfully "It's not important that they remember me."

George tensed, "I don't understand..." her hand squeeze his in a much firmer grip than he would have thought possible for an older human female. "Lily, I ask again who are you?"

"I am a messenger, George. I was sent this time to tell Matt that it was safe to give up his secret. It was something he should have done long ago." She sat still squeezing his hand. They sat side by side neither one looking at the other.

"This time? So you were there when that monster held him as a boy?" George was almost afraid to hear what he knew she would say.

"Yes. That time I was sent to encourage him, to let him know that he was not alone." before George could say anything she added "I also have a message for you."

Incredulous he turned to look at her "You have a message for me?"

"Yes George," she said turning toward him. "_Dearly beloved_," and she smiled a small comforting smile "_avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord_."

George jerked his hand from her grasp as if it had been burned. He shot to his feet and glared at her. "What are you trying to pull? I am no human so don't try to use their religion on me. You know who did this to Matt! Are you trying to protect him?"

"No as I said, I was sent to give you a message but that was only part of it." Lily sat quietly her hands now folded in her lap her eyes glittering almost supernaturally in the low light of the chapel. Then before his eyes she began to change and now instead of the kind grandmotherly human he faced an older Tenctonese male no longer dressed in scrubs but the drab uniform of a slave.

"_**Stangya, did Celine not teach that vengeance is empty and hollow? Did she not teach that hatred leads to bitterness and that bitterness will devour? I know that you seek justice for what was done to Matthew. But that is not your place. Vengeance is best served by he who created all."**_

George was speechless as he stood staring.

"_**How do you know…who are you?" **_George asked again speaking in Tenctonese as well.

"_**I told you who I am. I and others like me have walked among the peoples of the Creator for eons in time. We do as we are bidden. We are messengers and soldiers fighting a warfare you have never seen. We are known as angels, guardians, spirits of comfort and even guides to the next life. It was others such as I who met your parents and Ruhtra and even Uncle Moodri at their passings and embraced them into the light of the Creators presence."**_

"_**You will be given what you need to find the lost soul who has harmed your human brother, but remember Stangya, what you have been told, vengeance is not yours." **_

**

* * *

**

George stood by the window staring out not necessarily looking at anything. He hardly saw the cars passing below nor had he noticed if the sky was fair or cloudy. His world had been turned upside down again. He really wasn't sure how much more he could take. Suddenly he was brought out of his revere by a light tap at his door "Come in" he called without looking to see who might be there.

"Captain Francisco?" an older human mail was standing in the doorway with a large overstuffed envelope in his hands.

Startled George turned to welcome the man "Yes, I'm Captain Francisco, may I help you?"

The man moved into the office clearly unsure of his next move.

George hoping to put the man at ease motioned toward a chair "Please, won't you have a seat ah, Mr.…?"

"Sure thanks, name's Wayne Taylor. Used to be a cop once, seems like a hundred years ago. I'm just Wayne now." He grinned "I've been retired a little over ten years."

Wayne Taylor was a stocky man somewhere in his late 70's. His full head of hair gone completely white, his hands swollen and gnarled with arthritis. He sat with a groan feeling the strain on his tired bones.

"Thank you Captain, I know that this may seem unusual but I have something I think you need to see." He leaned toward the desk sliding the heavy envelope toward George.

Curious, George unfastened the clasp and emptied the envelope of its contents. He felt his hands begin to tremble as he held the file of one Dietrich Von Richter. "I don't understand. What is this?"

Taylor snorted, "That right there is something I think you been waitin on."

George felt something cold grip his insides. Wayne, where did you get this?"

Taylor grinned giving George an idea of the formidable man he had once been, probably still could be. "That Captain Francisco is the case file of one low down sorry pervert who had a thing for little boys, if you get my drift. I had him dead to rights and they let him go. 'Diplomatic Immunity' they called it. They put him on his little toy plane and sent him home. Then they tried to get rid of all the evidence. Hell, I should have listened to my gut and put a bullet between his eyes when I had the chance."

George's fingers itched to open the file "Go ahead, Captain. As far as anyone else knows that file was destroyed 30 years ago. I wasn't in time to save the evidence but I had that file hidden in my desk. I knew that there would come a day when this little son-of-a-bitch would get what was coming to him. I just hoped that I'd live long enough to see it."

George knew what he would find inside. He knew he was a step closer to the monster. Attached to the top page in the file was a studio wallet photo. The face that looked back at him was that of a young man in his early to mid 20's. The face was almost beautiful in its perfection, but his handsome features were marred by an arrogance that only wealth and privilege knows.

"You worked this case?" George asked.

The old man simply nodded.

George felt sick at his stomach as he read Taylor's precise hand printed case notes. He had been very detailed in his descriptions of the victims and the crime scene.

Taylor sat watching the Newcomer captain as he looked at the crime scene photos. He might not be human but Wayne could see that he was shaken by what he was seeing. He noticed the trembling hands ball into fists and with no small satisfaction he knew that this time the truth wouldn't be swept under the rug. "Captain as much as I'd love to be the one to take the little SOB down I know that this one's not for me to finish. I'm too old and worn-out. Maybe you can do what I couldn't. The bastard needs to be stopped."

George looked up "Wayne, why did you bring this to me, and why now? How did you know that he was back in Los Angelus?"

Taylor smiled a little sheepishly, "Well I didn't know exactly until last night. You might think I'm nuts but…well you see, my doc says that I don't have a lot of time left. You know, he told me pretty much that it was time to go home and get my house in order."

George looked confused "I'm sorry, I don't understand."

Taylor chuckled again, "He told me to go home and get ready to die, captain. My old heart is worn out and then the years of whisky and cigarettes didn't help much. I can't say that I'm not ready to go but this case has haunted me and everything I've ever done since. I really wanted to wrap this up. I guess you could say that it's my dying wish." He looked George dead in the eye then "This is where you're gonna think I'm crazy I know but…I swear on my mother's grave…" he seemed unsure of what to say next "…well let's just say that I got a message that told me to turn it all over to you."

**

* * *

**

Kirby tightened her grip on Buck's arm when she got her first glimpse of Matt. He seemed more changed than she expected. His hair was streaked now with silver and there were deep lines etched around his eyes. Knowing what he had been through she cautiously hung back a little. But then Matt caught sight of her and his face lit up. Suddenly she was a little girl again. She broke away from Buck and ran to her father. She hugged him tightly "Hi Daddy." She was able to get out in spite of the tears.

"Daddy?" He grinned in mock confusion "You haven't called me Daddy in a long time." Kirby kissed him on the cheek then "You know who you are." The old game seemed to make his eyes twinkle as he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed. "You look good." He told her. I think the jungle suits you."

"Thanks, I wish I could say the same for you" she motioned toward the brace. "How are you doing?" she really wanted to know.

"It was rough for a while but I'm doing good." He nodded actually believing it himself. "I'm gonna be okay."

She lost her fight with the tears letting them fall, "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, I…"

"Shhh..." he pulled her to his chest holding her tightly. "There's nothing you could have done and…well I'm not too proud of my behavior in the last few weeks. I found a side of myself I never knew existed I'm glad you didn't have to see that."

She sniffed, "I'm just glad you had family with you." She sniffed again.

Matt smiled in agreement laying his cheek on the top of her head, "Yeah kiddo, me too."

**

* * *

**

Matt and Marcie had another session latter that afternoon. Matt had asked George to go along because he had begun to remember. It was still just bits and pieces but it was so much more than he had before.

He could remember the man's face now. When George showed him the photo from Von Richter's file Matt had turned four shades of pale. "Where did you get that?" his voice was strained.

"Wayne Taylor LAPD, retired came to see me this morning. He worked your case all those years ago and he's kept the file hidden. He said that he knew there'd come a day when this man would be brought to justice."

Matt sat staring at the picture, memories flooding his mind. Marcie worriedly took his hand. "Matt? Can you hear me?"

He jerked his eyes away "Yeah, um…yeah. I just…" he swallowed and rubbed his free hand up and down his thigh.

"It's ok. He's not here. It's just memories." Her voice soothed. He grinned a little shakily "I know, but it's all coming back so fast now." He turned toward George, "Who is this piece of shit anyway?"

"His name is Dietrich Von Richter. He was the son of a West German diplomat and somehow connected to European royalty. His mother was able to pull enough strings to get him out of the country and have all the evidence destroyed but she didn't count on detective Wayne Taylor holding on to his file." George grinned appreciatively then sobered "Taylor told me that this monster has left a trail of broken children from LA to New York to London, Paris and Berlin. I don't know why he was quiet for so long but I would guess the death of his father a few months ago set him off to relive his past." He took a deep breath and finished "We have a line on him now, my friend. I promise you that we will have him soon. Every officer in the city is after him. He will not get away this time, I swear to you."

Matt sat taking it all in "I'm coming with you."

"No Matthew." George tried to argue.

"I've got to see him, George. I've got to know that this thing is over. Look you don't have to give me a gun." Then he knocked against the metal brace with his knuckles "and you know I'm not going to run after him. I just need to see the end of this. George, Please, when you find out where he is, I'm coming with you." He was adamant.

George looked toward Dr. Wright. She sat watching Matt and then nodded her assent. George exhaled in defeat. "Okay, but you will do as I say."

"Don't I always?"

"Hmph!" was his partner's reply.

It was not until the next morning that George got the news, Beatrice called him before he left for work. The suspect had been arrested and was on his way downtown. Matt beat him out to the car. George slammed the transmission into reverse, hit the lights and siren and off they went. Almost immediately Matt's cell began to ring.

"Matt! Are you insane?" Cathy was incredulous when Matt told her about his decision to go with George. "This is the craziest thing I've ever heard. You Come home right now!"

"Cathy, I have to do this. I'm sorry. I wish I could explain but I can't, you're just gonna to have to trust me." He answered.

"Of course I trust you Matt but, please let me talk to George!" she demanded.

"Sorry, no can do. Cathy listen, I promise I'll be fine. Please don't fight me on this, I've got to see him, this is something I need to do." He finished ending the call.

George took his eyes off the road long enough to see the pinched expression on his partner's face "I take it she wasn't very happy?"

"You could say that." Matt looked straight ahead not wanting to talk about it.

"You're right you know." George offered

Matt turned to stare at him "about what?"

"You're going to be just fine my friend. Over the years I've watched you face unimaginable situations, not only on the job but in your personal life as well."

"Well George, I had good back up." Matt grinned.

George smiled back "Alright, I'll let it drop but you know what I mean."

**

* * *

**

Cathy was angry, worried and oddly relieved all at the same time. This is exactly something Matt, the old Matt would do.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Kirby worried.

Cathy moved to sit close to her step daughter. She took the young woman's cold hands in both of her own. "Your father is a strong man. Willful sometimes, hard headed most of the time but he's no fool. And George is with him. He should be okay, but I can't help but worry. I guess I'll always worry." She grinned a watery grin.

Kirby reached for her and they hugged in mutual need of comfort. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you out some during all this."

Cathy laughed "don't be sorry, I've had more help than I've known what to do with. It's just that none of us knew what to do. You're here now and you don't know how much that means to your father and to me as well. I'm so glad you came." She gave her another hug.

They sat and talked for a long time after that. Sharing fears, hopes and tears. They laughed cried and shared memories about the man they both loved and learned that they genuinely liked one another.

Cathy knew a great deal about the younger woman but realized she didn't really know her. She would soon take care of that

**

* * *

**

Beatrice met them at the front desk angry and with fire in her eyes. "I'm so sorry guys, they cut him loose."

George was stunned, "What! I don't understand."

"His lawyer was here before we even got him to the station. He had a writ providing diplomatic immunity."

"The commissioner, does he know about this?" George could feel his own anger rising.

"Oh yeah, I just left Grazier on the phone with the State Department." Her anger still coloring her voice.

Matt who had been oddly quiet till now simply turned and started out of the building and toward George's car as fast as his crutch and brace would let him. "Come on George, we might be able to catch him!"

"Whoa! Hey guys!" Beatrice called after them "You can't go after him." she may as well have been talking to thin air.

George felt himself overtaken by rage. He was so close and the monster was about to get away. He couldn't let that happen. He gripped the wheel even tighter vowing that he would stop Von Richter. George wouldn't allow that scum, that torturer of children to hurt any one else.

Matt didn't know what he felt. He only knew that he had to see the monster in his nightmare. He wanted to look him in the eye.

"George? You know where we're goin?" he finally broke the silence.

"Yes Matthew, I believe I do. Wayne told me that after the arrest 'They put him on his little toy plane and sent him home.' It would be my guess that if he owned an airplane then he'd still have one today. What would you do if you were in a hurry? Would you take the time to go home and pack knowing that every officer in the city would love nothing better than to rip your head off? No my friend I think he is planning to get on his little toy plane"

"And get the hell out of Dodge." Matt finished for him.

"Right, and there is a private air strip owned by a subsidiary of one of Von Richter's companies. What would you wager that that's where he's headed." George asked with a grim smile.

"George, you really have your moments. You know that?"

"Thank you, now hold on we aren't' far now" he warned as he turned a corner on two wheels.

They could see the hanger up ahead and just as George had guessed, there sat a beautiful little Leer jet. A car was parked close by and standing in the little planes doorway was Von Richter himself. He held the arm of an elderly woman helping her into the plane. He looked up just in time to see the car racing toward them and motioned to several men standing on the runway. They fanned out forming a barrier between the car and jet each leveling an automatic weapon at the car.

George screeched to a halt only a few feet away leaving skid marks and burnt rubber. He fumbled with the door struggling with the seat belt in his hurry to get out of the car.

Von Richter smiled in his arrogant self important way "Ah, Captain Francisco how nice of you to come and wish me off."

George was furious and would have lunged at the arrogant bastard if his thugs hadn't got in the way. "Ah, ah now captain, can we not act like civilized individuals?"

"You dare to call yourself civilized?!" George grit through his teeth.

"Captain, I don't know what you could be referring to" that same oily voice from the tape crawled up and down George's spine.

Matt using the passenger side door levered himself out of the car. It was then that Von Richter's amour began to fail. Before him stood no powerless boy but a full grown man, a man who knew him for what he was. He fled into the safety of the plane. The old woman spoke then. "Please leave us alone. My grandson is ill. You have no right to torment him so!"

George couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Your grandson is a murderer and molester of innocent children!" George raged at her.

"Lies! Always lies from you people. My grandson would never do these things you say. He is a good boy. But always you try to hurt him with such…such…filth." She spat! "Go away!" and then she too disappeared into the protection of the plane.

George struggled to break free cursing and shouting, rage blinding him to the law he served. Finally it was Matt who got through that blind rage "George! Listen to me. Let it go. Let _him_ go. There's nothing you can do right now. Just let it go."

George starred at him "Matthew I can't just let him get a way."

"Yes you can, you have to. Come on George let's go." And with that he turned from his friend and climbed back into the car.

George was shaking with emotion. He shook off those men who were holding him and against everything he wanted to do he also climbed back into the car. Without waiting to see the plane take off he sped back down the way they had come.

"Diplomatic Immunity! This is unbelievable! It's an abomination!" George gripped the wheel so hard Matt thought it might break in his hands. "I'm sorry Matthew, I promised I would get this monster and I failed."

"No you didn't fail, George. It's the system."

The rest of the ride back was quiet neither one feeling the need for conversation. George took Matt back to the house where Cathy had been packing for their move back to their own home.

They sat in the car neither one making a move to get out finally Matt broke the silence "George, come on you have to let this go or it will just keep eating at you."

George had sat staring out through the windshield while Matt had been talking. Now Matt sat watching him, finally he turned and with a sigh of resignation "I just…I thought I had him. I thought this nightmare was over. I'm so sorry." Matt reached out to grip his arm. "Look, you did everything you could. I don't know how I know but somehow I know that he's finished. "

George laughed, a harsh sound "Someone told me just this morning that it wasn't for me to exact vengeance. I wanted it though, I still do. I want it so bad that I can taste the bitterness of it in my mouth. When I realized the extent of your injuries, when I knew what he had done to you…I wanted to kill him. Revenge was all that mattered, I wanted to be the one to pull the trigger and end his useless pathetic life. I've never been so slow in drawing my gun but today…I don't know what happened. I have no doubt that I would have killed him had I been able to draw my gun. "

"You know I wanted revenge too. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to see him bleed…but then I looked into his eyes and…I don't know how to explain it. When he saw me…I swear George he almost pissed in his pants. He was afraid of me. Today I saw him for what he is, not for what he wanted me to see. He's nothing but a coward. All this time I've let him terrify me like some creature in the mist…but not anymore. He might have gotten away but he didn't win. I'm still here and I'm still me and by God he won't get away with everything he's done. What do you bet that there's missing kids where ever he's been not just here in the States."

George eyed him speculatively "I think I understand what you're saying but without some sort of proof…"

"I know, I know but I just don't believe this whole thing is over, not yet." He finished.

**

* * *

**

Several hours later they were all sitting around the dinner table, a sort of farewell dinner for Matt and Kathy before they were to go back to their own place. The talk had been oddly festive considering the outcome of earlier events of the day.

The phone began to ring and Buck still laughing over some funny story Kirby had been regaling them all with went to answer. He was gone for only a few minutes but when he returned the laughter gone.

Susan noticed and worriedly asked, "Buck? What is it? Is something wrong?"

"No, Mom. I guess you could say it was good news in a way. Um…that was the commissioner. He called to let you know that Von Richter is dead."

"What!" George and Matt chorused in astonishment.

Buck shook his head as if in shock, "Yeah, he said that when Von Richter's plane touched down in London he was in such a hurry to leave for his other flight that he didn't wait for the little jet to depressurize. He grabbed the door handle and the door opened with such force that he was flung from the plan to land on the tarmac. He landed awkwardly breaking his neck, killing him instantly. They're calling it a freak accident." Buck finished still dazed.

"Or perhaps divine intervention" George added remembering his conversation with the angel.

Matt pushed himself up to stand and lifted his glass of wine "Accident or divine intervention I don't care. I say we drink to justice." he raised his glass as a chorus or "Justice went around the room and they all drank.

**

* * *

**

**ONE YEAR LATER**

The nervous teenager lay warily listening to the grandmotherly old nurse, "Lieutenant Sikes will be here soon to talk to you about what happened."

"No, I don't want to talk about it." The girl curled up eyes filling with tears.

"Can't they send a woman? How can a man know anything about how she feels? He'll only scare her more than she already is." her mother worried reaching for her daughter's hand.

"Oh, don't you worry a bit dear, he's very easy to talk to, you'll see." She smiled.

There was a light tap at the door before Lieutenant Matthew Sikes entered. "Melissa? I'm Matt Sikes. I'd like to ask you a few questions."

She sat up pulling her knees to her chest eyeing him warily. You're not what I expected, are you sure you're a cop? She said as she took in his faded jeans and leather jacket. He had an easy smile and soft brown eyes that went a long way to ease her fear. He didn't try to touch her or move too close. He pulled one of the chairs to the side of the bed and sat waiting for her to talk first.

She sighed hugging her legs more closely to her. "I don't want to talk about it."

He watched her sadly, "Melissa, I know how frightened you are right now. I know that you think that if you don't talk or think about it, it will all go away. I know that you feel helpless and no longer in control. And I know that all you really want to do right now is to curl up and die. But if you do that you let the bastard win. Please help me stop him from hurting anyone else."

She stared at him angrily and asked "How could you possibly know how I feel?"

If possible his eyes softened even more "Because I was eleven when it first happened to me."

Lily smiled and pulled the door shut. She knew the wee girl would be fine now. And she was proud of Matt now head of his own special victims unit. Good had come from bad and evil had been conquered again. Satisfied she faded into the wall on her way to her next case.

THE END (finally)


End file.
